Timelessness & Taste

11 year old retinol users, the Eras Tour, and dressing like Larry David

Each time I dispatch a shopping AMA or receive a comment with a video idea, I can expect the requests to be punctuated by more than one response that reads “timeless recs for (insert category here)?”

I welcome these requests and comments. They’re asked with the best of style intentions. We all want to feel that we are both expressing ourselves, but not regretting purchases we made just months ago. I do feel sometimes, though, in answering these requests vaguely, I’m being unhelpful, but in answering them specifically, I am perpetuating a goose chase for timelessness. This is my answer to this qualm.

This idea came to me at drinks with a friend. Negroni bianco in hand, we discussed our relationships with aging as it relates to social media. Specifically, videos of girls no older than 14 doing nighttime routines on Tiktok, loaded with designer retinol (albeit, my faves), narrating the benefits of each step.

Typically these conversations go the way of first debating the parameters in which we think children should exist on social media, then sermonizing back and forth about how our childhoods were better because we “played outside”, or whatever.

This particular evening, the aforementioned friend said something to the effect of, “the thing that saddens me most about this, is that these kids are spending so much time focused on something they think they should be doing, with the promise of it yielding future results, probably just to end up in the same place as we’re in. When they’re where we are though, they’ve sacrificed all of the time that we spent enjoying ourselves trying to beat an inevitable end or miss out on things in the process.” *(Post-editing addition - giggled to see The Cut also posting an article about young skincare this week.)

It wasn’t until my friend framed it in this way that I realized some of my past style habits were akin to that of an 11 year old retinol user. Many of my style woes derived from trying to “achieve” the perfect wardrobe now, so in the future, I could be a happy, sexy, timeless woman who doesn’t struggle at all to get dressed and who isn’t embarrassed by past fashion choices. I thought, even as early as 18, that if I obsessed over curating the perfect Pinterest boards and buying the “right” basics and “investment pieces”, I could save myself from “aging” stylistically or having style regret. I would endure. I’m now 26, still figuring out my style, and happier than ever about it.

Many of us, despite investing more time and effort than ever not only consuming, but also dissecting our consumption, posting about our consumption, and consuming the consumption of others, are still constantly dissatisfied with our wardrobes. This modern overwhelm about what to buy, where to buy it, and how to know it’s “the right thing” has laid perfect foundation for the ubiquitous wardrobe advice to “just buy timeless, quality pieces you love!” to flourish.

However, it’s difficult to define timelessness and choose “quality pieces we love” in a time where “dressing timelessly” has become a sort of trend in itself. The pragmatic, simple notion of quality basics like jeans and tees has been mangled by marketing tactics around “capsule wardrobes” and promotion of new “basics”, “staples”, and “investment pieces” season after season. Meanwhile I haven’t seen that “forever wardrobe staple” leather pant and square neck tank top combo again since 2021…