Inspiring vs. Desiring

lessons in window shopping & giving a whole new meaning to retail therapy

“Just because I admire something doesn’t mean I need to own it”

I first spoke this mantra to myself last year as a trite quip against overconsumption. I still over-consume, I would never posture otherwise. But, I’ve finally gotten to a point where I am no longer consumed by my consumption, or continuously shopping for the wrong reasons and making purchases I regret. Buckle up - I let myself be more verbose than usual today as a holiday treat.

When I share the admiration mantra on Tiktok and other socials, I’m typically met with praise to the tune of “I needed this de-influencing!” or “finally, an influencer de-influencing!” While I’m not against de-influencing as a concept, I’ve found myself wary to associate myself with the “deinfluencer” mentality because my previous personal “deinfluencing” trials in the traditional sense have never meaningfully impacted my consumption. Over the years, I’ve gone through many iterations of minimalist and anti-consumption thought exercises (Marie Kondo-ing, following along The Minimalists’ journey) in an attempt to become a “better” consumer. Can you tell based on my early TikTok days (and everything about me) that none worked?

I’ve realized the reason the more traditional minimalist and “de-influencing” centric tips never created meaningful change for me is because I always interpreted the goal of the exercise to be to not want the thing. I do not need this thing, therefore I should not buy it, and should stop thinking about it and wanting it. I never saw myself in these tips because most* of these tips were intended to inspire rejection of purchasing altogether in order to free people from credit card debt, or hoarding, etc. so they could dedicate more time to their true passion that shopping was holding them back from, like baking or knitting. I didn’t see myself in these communities. Sue me, maybe capitalism has me in a Stockholm Syndrome-esque trance, but shopping to me was meditative. All I ever wanted was to work in fashion, to be surrounded by it, or to make things more beautiful. I certainly wanted to buy less and regret less, but I didn’t want to omit it altogether.

So, when the aforementioned mantra occurred to me**, a new meaning to retail therapy was born! TLDR; Shopping isn’t just purchasing, and purchasing is much later in the game, if it happens at all.

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My previous PEMDAS for shopping: