EARLY SUMMER…REVVING UP…

A LONG DRESS + KEEPING THEM OUT

I could write a Dr. Seuss book about my love for a long dress. I wear it on the train; I wear it when in pain. I throw it on last minute; stuck on styling, I’ll just pin it. I wear it with a hat; I wear it walking my big rat. A long dress is the solution to many of my outfit woes, not limited to the summer selection of pools of sweat, swollen ankles, increased laundromat trips, period underwear, heat-induced laziness, and leaving the house on too long a dog walk before showering. Last week, despite walking Pig to Red Hook hungover, greasy-haired, before a proper shower, I received more than a few compliments about how “lovely I look!” Thank you, long dress.

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Clearly, I hang them anywhere. I love this Rosetta Getty twist- back dress I found on The Real Real last year for a steal. In the rare, envious case that you look good in peach, they’re abundant secondhand on the cheap. You should buy it if not just to wield the privilege of being someone who can pull off such a color. More on one-dress-multiple-ways later, but this was the first wear of the season: a sporty styling moment for errands and the dog park.

A moment for the sporty polo dress Isabella (of Rummage Stretch, apropos) bought when we ventured into Nomia last week.

Ran into coming from the office in vintage Donna Karan (also found on The Real Real), a blazer, a tote, and sandals, then in a red capri X button-down with a leather tote, and yummy patent Prada sandals.

My second long dress of the season was a new pick, for Bright Eyes to a birthday party.

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BREEZIER BAGS

One of my favorite ways to stay cool is also a great aesthetic modifier for off-season pieces. It’s been a cool June (and thank God), which has meant I’ve spent many days trying to look the summer part before the weather necessitates it. I’m still toting my Prada lasercut bag (bag in black) and Brigitte Tanaka organza totes from last year, and just added a Series of Aesthetic Manufacturing tote I picked up at Surrender Dorothy for larger scale lugging.

I like to keep my summer equations very simple, as the heat exhausts me and I can’t be bothered with complicated outfits when dressing twice, sometimes three times a day. My other summer must haves: a carafe of hibiscus tea in the fridge, homemade lavender spray also kept in the fridge (blend seeds, strain, put in spray bottle), matinee movies (David Lynch retrospective at Angelika currently), Paula’s Choice sunscreen (only one that doesn’t break me out. I love the watery texture), Dirty Labs laundry booster for sweaty clothes that have been marinating under my bed for a week (I also use their matcha vetiver detergent), and black sesame topping on vanilla ice cream.

A TO Z SEARCHES SUMMER 26

Scraped my favorite of a few searches to GET YOU GOING!!! I could alphabet until the day I leave this corporeal form, so I kept some as just one pick. You can find more of each brand under HEATWAVE and my SS26 roundup, and the fancier pieces under Event Dressing. They’re mostly under $100 and a bit under $200, but if your wallet’s burning a hole in your pocket, this is a gateway to greater temptations…

Alberta Ferretti.

Byblos.

An offshoot of the Genny umbrella, Byblos is a 1973 Milanese brand for those at the axis of sport, Hysteric Glamour, and Versace (who worked there from 1977 to 1979!)

Cacharel.

Diane Von Furstenberg. Dresses for your wedding and date needs. Silk scarf dress has ALREADY had a resurgence!!! $60 for some 2000s silk.

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Some fields have admission fees ($5) for opening days or times. Bring cash for entry. You’re basically paying to get in at 9 am instead of 12 or 1 pm. Considering a latte near my home costs $7.26, paying $5 to shop as soon as the field opens was a no-brainer for us. If you’re an early bird like , it’s fun to go at sunrise, but Kelsey and I have still found heaps arriving after 9 am.

I wouldn’t approach attending Brimfield as a “money-saving” venture. If you don’t enjoy walking across large patches of grass and gravel to talk to freaky, fun people and paw through piles of old stuff, perhaps peruse a thrift store or online secondhand market instead. I chalk up driving and lodging to the cost of an experience with my friends and sourcing inspiration, and figure I’m saving a tad on shipping and movers for big-ticket items. Although I think over-indexing on optimization and retrenchment are antithetical to the spirit of Brimfield (if you’re going - explore! enjoy!), I’ve compiled a guide to streamline all but THE HUNT!!!

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PREP

Bring water, wet wipes (there are only porta-potties), a jewelry loupe (if you’re shopping for gems), a portable charger, a wagon, and a measuring tape. In the car, bring moving blankets or an equivalent. Most vendors will wrap large items, but it’s wise to bring some bubble wrap or paper for smaller delicates.

Measure everything, and take photos of your home before you go. Obviously, I measured for items on my list, like a dresser and a mirror, but I also photographed my space from multiple angles, measured any free spaces where items could live, and compiled these in a note on my phone. Quickly consulting this while hunting helped me see that the tiny piece of art (a piece for which you could be easily convinced) wouldn’t enhance my space, but that the large French towel rack was actually a great idea.

Get in the habit of taking photos. Many dealers don’t have an online presence, and it can be difficult to retrace physical steps on the fields. When I meet a dealer whose inventory I like, I’ll save their contact with name + BRIMFIELD. Kelsey has followed up with silver dealers during the year to see if they still have an item she regretted leaving behind, and I’ve texted the tiger fabric woman months later to show her my couch!

LOGISTICS

Lodging books up quickly. After last year’s stay in a dark, artificial apple-cinnamon scented TV-less hole, we booked this year’s Airbnb 5 months in advance, and the pickings were still slim then. We technically stayed in Charlton, on a sparkling lake. A 20-minute drive to the fair is easy and typical. This year’s property slept 10 (6 comfortably… these hosts and their ideas…), and for the four of us, it was only $166 per person per night. We were all working part of the week in the evenings, so having a place to cook dinner and watch Michelle Pfeiffer in What Lies Beneath on a La-Z-Boy between emails was much appreciated.

PETS! I’ve seen everything from toy Chihuahuas tucked in a shirt to Great Danes on leash at Brimfield. Some fields are not dog-friendly, so it’s wise to leave your pet at home the first day, to take note of the no-pet fields, or have a friend willing to trade dog duty. I brought Pig on the trip with the intent of bringing her to the fields on days 2 and 3, but the flooding rain foiled our plans. It was still a vacation for her, as running the lake house property is a step up from the Brooklyn streets.

Last year, a minivan had plenty of room. This year, we rented a 4-row passenger van in the spirit of manifesting larger finds. Parking nearby costs $10-$20 for the day; we prefer the Quaker Acres lot for its central location. Take out cash to pay for parking. If your group doesn’t want to shop all day, you can Uber/Lyft, but it can take a while to reach the fields (it’s a two-lane road) and can be expensive. When Kelsey and I split off for dinner one night, we waited 45 minutes for an Uber to drive us 15 minutes away for about $50.

We’ve only purchased things we can carry, but many fields have booths and porters (movers) to help take large purchases to your car. Barring flooding (as we had this year), you can typically drive close to the booth to load your car.

We always bring a collapsible wagon; it’s cumbersome, but we think worth it. Our MO is bringing one group wagon, and we trade off pulling; everyone has their own tote. If you only end up with small things, you can take them in the tote inside the tent and leave the wagon outside, then wheel the bags between the fields. It can be a challenge to get the wagon inside the smaller tents, so most people will “park” their wagons just outside while browsing. It’s not likely someone will make off with your wagon, but this year, we did catch someone trying to buy Kelsey’s Alex Mill tote out of ours.

If we found a medium-sized item, we opted to wagon it rather than pick it up later. Most vendors allow pickups at the end of the day, but vendors close whenever they want. If they opened shop at sunrise, they may pack up at 4 pm, leaving you to disrupt your hunt to pick up the car, load it, potentially re-park, and, after all that, probably end early.

Gear (ha). Bring a sweater or light layers. It can be windy and frigid in the mornings, then hot midday. I alternated days between my Seavees and my YMC X Merrells (any of you a size 15? Or, similar Merrells $200, similar ROA $140), and my feet didn’t hurt at all by the end of the week.

EATING

We take diner culture very seriously and have started ranking diners in the greater Sturbridge, MA area. Most are cash only. Yankee Diner is currently No. 1, with a banging biscuits-and-gravy special, a cozy train-car ambiance, friendly locals, and an adorable owner. Kostas had the best pancakes. Charlie’s Diner used to be No.1, but is now unseated by Yankee Diner. Charlie’s food is good, but the more readily available seating is on the newer “nicer” side of the restaurant, which takes you out of the comforting diner feel. Little Rest Stop is charming, but skip the pancakes; they’re dry.

For dinner, BT Smokehouse has incredible BBQ, but the wait times can be long, so don’t go on the brink of being hangry. The short rib at Publick House has been delicious two years in a row, but everything else has been incredibly hit-or-miss. Thai Place kind of sucks (got our order wrong twice and served our vegan friend meat), but it does the job for a no-wait tall pour of shitty house wine, and a filling carbo-loading group dinner at the end of a long day.

STRATEGY

Kelsey and I can hunt for 10+ hours without tiring, but even I didn’t have time to visit every single booth. If you’re someone who tires quickly, go by a list so you can scan for your priority items. This year, I was looking for furniture, hardwired lighting, and things like towel racks or switch-plate covers, so it was easy to decide to visit a tent or not from a healthy distance.

If you’re looking for smaller items, you’ll want to do a lap inside the actual tent to get a preliminary feel. Kelsey was looking for silver, so she spent most of her time in packed tents, hand sorting through piles.

Many of the dealers rent the same space each season, so if you go more than once, you’ll start to find your bearings. I take photos (99% of vendors let me) to geotag the general area where I found something. That said, the photo location feature isn’t that precise, so I did make Nic circle the entirety of Hertan’s field with me when I couldn’t find the vendor I bought a dresser from for pick-up.

Instead of taking physical vendor cards, I’ll ask to see one, then take a picture of it held up in front of their inventory, so the photo includes the info, the vibe of the tent to remember what was there, and the tracked location to find it again. Even so, part of the vintage magic lies in its ephemerality. We circled and circled this year for the vintage porn tent of 2025, and the ‘YOUNG STUDS WAITING TO BE TAKEN’ were nowhere to be found…

My motto is ‘I’M LOOKING FOR WHAT FINDS ME!!!’ The thrill of the secondhand variable reward system is that you can’t bend the finds to your will. Last year, I didn’t need furniture, and my camera roll is full of incredible furniture I would have loved to buy this year. This year, I found tons of small textiles and decorative gems that weren’t on my list. And so it goes. I take photos of everything, from hallmarks to tags, and save items I can’t stop thinking about to my secret “GRAILS” page on are.na.

If I love a vendor, I’ll revisit their tent multiple times over the span of the fair. The dawn of a new day can do a lot for perspective. Get far away, get up close, look high, look low.

Many items for sale (like the gorgeous velvet hangers or art at Strange Desires) can fade into the decor of the tent, even though they’re available for purchase! Dig into bins; look with your hands, it will help your eyes from tiring. This art is from the same vignette as above, but was tucked in the corner between the chaise and a table.

Each day, in the evenings, we’ve made a habit of using Airplay on the TV to show each other what we saw that day, or debate items we want to go back for. Although I don’t tire of hunting in the sense that I wish to go home, by hour 6, I’m not sure what I’ve seen or what I haven’t, so this is a fun way to see the fields through someone else’s lens. Beauty in the eye of the beholder…etc.

$$$$ + talking about it

More and more dealers take card or Venmo. Many only accept cash; ATMs are scattered about. You’re more likely to get a cash deal, and it’s preferred for smaller-ticket items. I ended up Venmoing almost everything and only taking out cash for my biggest purchase. It’s easier to negotiate the big stuff. Vendors don’t want to lug a 7-foot armoire back with them. You also don’t know if a vendor has had an item for a few seasons and is itching for it to meet its buyer. I tried on this coat marked $675, and before I said anything, the vendor said, “I can do $375 on that.”

I always respectfully negotiate; the worst someone can say is no. If you’re unsure how much to ask, you can always say, “What’s your best price on this?” Or, if you’re buying multiple items, I’ll typically ask if they’d do whatever is 20% off the total bundle price.

If you want to know about an item but feel sheepish about phrasing it, you can say “what’s the story on this?”, which opens the door for the vendor to share information like age, function, or where they acquired it. Don’t use Google Lens in front of a vendor, or negotiate under the pretense that you “saw it for less somewhere else”. Vendors aren’t dumb, and some vendors at Brimfield will actually buy from other booths during the fair to resell the next day! Such is the game.

The question of what constitutes a “good deal” is tricky. There were two booths under a tent, with just one table in between them, both selling the 1970s sawtooth leather L.L.Bean totes. The first was selling it for $300, and the latter for $550. Online, they can be upwards of $600, so if you were in the market for this rare bag, by that benchmark, they’re both a “good deal”. But if you bought the $550 one and discovered the $300 tote (in slightly better condition, I should add) the next day, you might be sour. Alas.

I’m also more keen to pull the trigger on European brands at markets now since the tariff implementation. Most of the vintage Pucci I saw was the same price as you can find online, but you have the luxury of trying on (yes, you can usually try on! Wear clothes good for stripping down. Fitting rooms unlikely.), meticulously examining the condition, and not paying shipping or import fees.

I try to sleep on things I’m not sure about, and not dwell too much on spending on something that gives me THAT FEELING!!! Everyone has their own priorities, mine this year being a quality, functional dresser that fits the proportions of my small Brooklyn apartment, and FREAK SHIT!!! I quietly put back a gorgeous $55 hand-knit tassel (intricate tassels are expensive and difficult to find online) and slept on a $60 shirt, but I immediately threw down $30 for a creepy paper mask to hang on my door, and $800 for the cabinet when I laid eyes on it. It had the exact measurements I needed, was in great condition, in the wood I wanted, 200 years old, and unbranded, meaning it would be difficult to find a similar model. Knit items are also typically an immediate YES for me, as vintage needlepoint or sweaters are unlikely to be part of a collection of multiples. If this needlepoint looked like Pig, I would have bought it.

If you’re really new to secondhand, get a lay of the land by browsing 8-10 tents before buying anything. You’ll quickly see patterns in things being sold; this year, L.L.Bean totes were everywhere. Some vendors have tags with written designer names and years of production, and thus designer prices, which, albeit expensive, are usually “easier” to find at curated vintage furniture shops or online auctions. I relish the benefit of seeing an item in person, not having to keep tabs or compete on an auction, and the ability to immediately take it home, but this probably won’t be the last $1700 Mario Bellini chair you’ll ever see. I often find myself drawn to the nameless, brandless, old shit, as it’s the hardest to find again. If I’m asking myself “how would I even search this?” or Google Lens delivering few results, I typically pull the trigger. Lighting may strike twice on a Dalmatian table…but not likely thrice.

If I see a guy who looks like a young Christopher Drew Ingle wearing a distressed vintage t-shirt and two tiny hoop earrings, I know I’m about to see some $600 jeans and a $700 full-leather L.L.Bean tote. But, if I’m looking for something specific I’m willing to spend on, like the The Cure vintage tee snagged right in front of my nose last year, then I’m right where I need to be! The best deals I’ve gotten on clothing are from more disorganized tents or tents where clothing isn’t the focus. Nic scored a perfect Eddie Bauer vintage bomber for $20 from a tent that had only three pieces of clothing strewn across a table in the back.

If I smell a Glade plug-in-esque candle smell, see a sign that says “reworked”, or see piles of multiples of anything a little too perfect, I usually skip.

Brimfield questions? I might do fall this year too…

TIL’ NEXT TIME for the BRIMFIELD HAUL!!! <3

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My friends teased me for casually mentioning that I’d “love to replace all the windows”, but dreaming about the things that ultimately end up in the “unlikely and insane” quadrant helps me understand the structural limitations of a space and prioritize tasks. From there, I made a chart for each zone and used the left space to play with aesthetics.

The bedroom is the smallest space in my apartment and the one whose completion would make me feel most settled, so I started there. In my “very basic apartment,” as my Eastern European broker-friend plainly put it, my room is a hole, with the bed nearly touching all four corners. Such a space affords no details, so the paint, bedding, and light must be selected with utmost care.

I’m a big “feelings” person when it comes to decorating, so I wanted the room to read expansive enough to breathe, but protective enough to rest, like lying with Pig on a just-big-enough patch of grass, a swaying tree protecting only your eyes from the sun. I lime-washed the walls a light gray, Portola’s ‘Leisure’ (I’M RECLAIMING GRAY WALLS!!!); the “ashy seafoam undertones” coming through when the sun moves over it, and the texture of which creates the illusion of scattered light when there is none. I then built a cotton percale Brooklinen bedding set of mostly oak, with two cream pillowcases to add dimension and levity.

I traded my soft linen for cotton percale, which, paired with the paper shade I built, feels delightfully crisp and somehow protective. Perhaps on the hottest days of summer, during which I traipse around in a breezy open robe, electrolyte water in hand, I’ll turn my sheets back over to white linen, my old set, incidentally, also from Brooklinen.

<3 This post is sponsored by Brooklinen. My choice of bedding for years! <3 Shop their Memorial Day Sale for up to 25% off sitewide and up to 50% off bundles through May 26th!!!

After the bedroom’s bones, I moved to the living room, where the closet has to live (in my closet-less apartment), to determine any storage needs in the bedroom. A friend and I knocked these IKEA closet frames out in two days, and I spent a week buying drawers one by one to create the perfect configuration. I’m glad I didn’t bulk order what I virtually rendered in the PAX studio. I also can’t believe IKEA is discontinuing these delightful glass-finish doors. The not-quite-color-not-quite-neutral creamsicle feels lightly eclectic, looks more expensive than it is, and bounces light nicely. They don’t produce the doors in the smaller closet size, so I’m looking for a vintage fabric panel to cover the open sliver.

While waiting for the closet to settle, I played with some combinations from my nightly browsing. I toyed with the idea of changing my bedroom door, inspired by my charming bathroom door.

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I’ve always had roommates, and in a shared space, the bedroom becomes an apartment in itself, containing everything you need for living, rather than serving only as a sleeping space. I wanted this bedroom to feel restrained, almost monastic, at least by my hedonist standards; returning to this vignette I saw at Jacqueline Sullivan Gallery last year. A simple light. No art. A wash of color for the bedding.

I quickly learned that venturing into my living room for underwear feels like carrying my change of clothes to the bathroom in a vacation hostel too creepy to change in the shared room. Plus, I didn’t want to prep outfits in the living room. I conceded to the idea of a small lingerie chest in the bedroom.

Swapping the silver knob for a glass and burl wood knob and adding a dark wood chest satisfied my need for a bit more texture against the white baseboards, white door, and white tin ceilings. I’ll add a small cushion or vintage throw on the chest, plus a few velvet and satin hangers for prepping tomorrow’s outfit and a touch of 1940s frivolous femininity. Using the JS vignette as a filter helps decide what maximalist accents to include.

It’s fun to see how the iterations come together, and noteworthy that what looks great in a collage doesn’t always translate in person. The upper photo is hideous, but those are the details that best suit the feeling of the physical space.

Fear not, I didn’t let this stop me from buying a heap of unnecessary, ornamental bric-a-brac at Brimfield. Show-and-tell soon with ideas and eBay comps. It’s incredible how much potential lies in an average-sized, glorified rectangular room.

TIL’ NEXT TIME!! <3

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Of course, there’s art, chairs, clothes…but running into Jennifer Coolidge purchasing an 11-foot by 11-foot cherub-themed iron gate? A CPR dummy in a suitcase? A 1930s sequin and papier-mache bodysuit? A chandelier made of porcelain baby heads? Inspiring. Last year, I went Thursday-Sunday, and this year I’m going Tuesday-Friday.

Here’s my no-stress Brimfield prep:

• Keeping a shared note with friends of what we’re all looking for, so we can send (or, if in poor service, at least capture) photos of things we find for each other. Make incredibly thorough lists, even with “nice to haves”, knowing you won’t likely find everything you want. Drop a pin at good items you need to sleep on.

• Measuring ideal placement for items on that list. I measured the distance between the screws on the towel bars I want to replace, the rug area, and any opening for art, and counted the knobs on my kitchen cabinets.

• Taking up-to-date photos of my apartment from every angle so I can visualize large items. If I need to sleep on something, sometimes I’ll even isolate the item on a transparent background and overlay it on my apartment photos.

• Carry a measuring tape, lead testing kit, wet wipes, a jewelry loupe (for gems), portable charger, and water.

If you’re based in NYC and not heading to Brimfield next week, visit Afternoon Light fair next weekend! I’ll be there as soon as my feet touch down from Brimfield. NYC Art Week (May 5-17) and NYC Design Week (May 14-20) are hotbeds of inspiration for decorating, space, color, and getting acquainted with contemporary talent…I just commissioned Thomas Yang, whom I met at Afternoon Light last year, for a sculptural dimmer switch for my bedroom.

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in-person hunts

I always go into thrifting or estate sales blind, but for an event of this size, I like to paw over images of what I’m looking for, as if to prime my brain for efficient scanning, the way you’d run a clothing garment by a scent hound before hitting the trail. These are some things I’ve been mulling over.

SINKS!!!!

I dream of replacing my bathroom sink…specifically, with a vintage Sherle Wagner basin. He and his wife, Rose, revolutionized the bathroom. The bathroom, once nothing more than a humble shitter, with Sherle’s introduction of a 24k dolphin, became yet another canvas to express something far beyond expectation. They’re still in business, but browsing their mid 40s and 50s finishes feels like the 10 minutes a day when the sun fully lights up my living room.

Anecdotally, these are items I find more likely to score a deal in person. They may be awkward or expensive to ship, or not worth the squeeze to list online for a steal.

Hangers

These can be expensive online, but I typically find unique, quality ones for a deal in person. As with rugs, it’s also ideal to be able to feel and smell any fabric items that can’t be easily washed. I gave a baroque-patterned vintage one of these to a friend at her bridal shower for something both “borrowed” and “blue”.

I want this $15 set only because the bottom one looks just like my ideal Pucci pattern. These would also make gorgeous bridesmaid or maid-of-honor gifts, presented with a vintage nightgown or personalized robe hanging from them.

BIG RUGS, LITTLE RUGS

Rugs can be expensive to ship due to weight, and carry the risk of pet allergens (my cross to bear) or undisclosed smells. I still buy online, but if you’re unsure, markets are the perfect place to touch, feel, and smell. Even in my small NYC apartments, I own about 7 rugs, only 2 of which are large. I fold them up when not in use and keep them under my bed. I’ll swap around my little vintage layering rugs when I’m itching for a warm mat next to my bed in the winter, or experimenting with layouts.

ALL THINGS FABRIC

Typically, the projects find me. Famously, Brimfield is where I found the $150 Brunschwig & Fils fabric bolt so unsuspectingly propped up in a corner by a clown mask. Thus, my custom tiger couch was born.

This year, I’m in need of a long fabric swatch to cover the awkward doorless portion of my living room closet.

As with rugs and hangers, I also love to pick up vintage towels at markets. I dream of a simple, cozy summer lake home, bustling in the height of the season, with sumptuous stacks of perfectly worn vintage Pucci, Pac-Man or Huckleberry Hound towels strewn about.

KITCHEN ACCESSORIES

Silverware. I love mismatched silverware because there are certain foods I like to eat with specific utensil shapes. These look ideal for my morning chia pudding.

Big on hosting? Wood Danish trivets. Protecting a table has never been so beautiful…

Sabre is great and all…but I love a unique or mismatched set of serving spoons. My oldest friend got me a pair of vintage serving spoons for my birthday; we just christened them with my favorite fig-and-arugula salad.

ODDS + ENDS

The weird shit you can’t plan for…the miracle that is SURPRISE AND DELIGHT!! SUDDENLY I NEED A PLAYFUL PATCHWORK LEATHER DOG!!!!

Light switch plate covers for a kid’s room. Know anyone having a baby?

Vintage mugs or cans to store kitchen tools, makeup brushes, or pens.

Or vases! (Greek pottery). I love keeping a few around to take flowers to others’ houses.

I bumped sweet Nora from eBay for her overlooked secondhand finds:

Film Slides

Nora: On a basic level, all eBay really is is an archive of someone else’s life. A quick search of ‘used Kodachrome slides’ emphasizes that. And maybe you’ll end up on a deep dive of someone’s iconic Christmas photos (see below) or the 1979 Dick Clark New Year’s Rockin’ Eve Party. I personally love the image below of these two friends, their legs in the air, from 1964. I love it so much I’m tempted to buy it so I can scan it in without the watermark.

Heather: I’ll buy any little $1 or $5 paper scrap if I feel drawn to it. Not sure what to give your wedding photographer for inspiration? Need physical matter for your vision board? Looking for a jolt of energy from a new color combination, outfit, or pose? OLD PHOTOS!!!!

I also like to write notes on the backsides for loved ones; they’re funny and pretty enough to tack up, so they hopefully don’t end up in the trash with a graveyard of lackluster occasion cards…

Ladies Legs

Couple Embrace

Business Cards

Nora: From a design standpoint, the untapped potential of inspiration from old business cards on eBay is underrated and underutilized. Screenshots of some of my favorites below. Pinterest has some competition if you know where to look.

Love Insurance Policy

You’ll Like The Service

Tankinis as Tank Tops

Nora: I wax poetic about this all of the time, but there is nothing better than wearing a tankini top as a tank top on a hot, sweaty summer day. It’s absorbent (or wicking, I really don’t know which, and I also don’t know which is better or worse in this case). It can be really sexy in a flirty, unexpected way. And it’s two for the price of one.

Carabella Vintage 90s Two-Piece Swimsuit Tiger Animal Halter Tankini

Vintage It Figures! Purple Stripe Slinky Black Cami/Tankini

Sunglasses/Glasses Frames

Nora: You need not worry about the lenses. Get frames for cheap (you would be stunned at what eBay has to offer), bring those bad boys to your nearest optical shop, and have them pop in new lenses!

Blue Les Copains Sunglasses with Stars

Vintage Gucci Sunglass Frames (Need Lenses)

TAKING PHOTOS AND PRICES OF EVERYTHING THIS YEAR AND WILL KEEP YOU DUTIFULLY APPRISED…UNTIL NEXT TIME!!! XO

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Sorry for the radio silence; I moved and am just now feeling like my head is back screwed on. I also just turned 29! I celebrated early, playing pool with friends, reading Žižek, and staring at the expensive butterfly marzipan I bought myself, which I told everyone was “too pretty to eat” but had actually left untouched because of its abhorrent aftertaste. I wrote a list of all the things I thought would be important for me to have accomplished by 29, most of which I now find uninspiring and of no consequence. I drank martinis with my mom and her friend, who was in town for her birthday, which is just two days after mine. Her friend said that for his 60th, he was letting go of the idea that he’d ever raise kids in New York.

I spent $122 at McNally's and had drinks with a stranger, whom I’d just met in the journal section. I went to the movies, then ate a steak alone at 11:15 at night amongst a full restaurant, which is one of my favorite parts of living in New York. By the actual day, Monday, I was tired of cake, so we put 4 candles in a meatball.

I physically marked this new era by continuing to furnish my new apartment. The first real project (beyond my IKEA MDF play-castle, now the first and only closet in this apartment) was this parasol cover for the hideous flush-mount light in my bedroom. A parasol light is not a novel idea; these lights have been around for centuries in many forms. The HAY flush mount is probably the most recognizable contemporary iteration. Many popular parasols are most closely associated with Chinese and Japanese motifs, but parasols have existed for thousands of years in Ancient Egypt and India as well. Initially, they were used to represent status or dignity and later evolved into a very fashionable form of sun protection.

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Fortuny, my initial inspiration, whose factory has been producing silk shades in Venice since 1922, is a notable player in the silk-shade-as-decor space. It’s a cool $9k if anyone is looking to gift me a belated birthday present.

I am also partial to the “DIVA” section of their site.

SAVE WITHOUT ABANDON!!! My home and clothing lists range from $15 to $15,000. I’ve always found gleaning a range of images and studying my responses to these spaces to be more helpful than looking with the immediate goal of purchasing. Visiting the “projects” section of a brand or interior designer’s portfolio can offer a range of ideas without being so aesthetically disparate as to become overwhelming. Poring over a coffee table book is a more leisurely way to study ideas. Here are a few favorites that served as direction for my browsing, and for my imminent Brimfield pilgrimage.

When browsing parasols, I knew I wanted something that would provide light contrast and echo the subtle pattern of my blue-gray lime-washed walls. Per usual, I ventured to eBay and Etsy.

I find this $107 parasol especially thrilling. The sheerness would prove difficult as a “cover”, but if you can pull it off, it has a Turrell-like effect.

MORE BUTTERFLIES FOR $34!!!

Plain and pretty. $32.

I love the idea of a tiny, color-drench cozy foyer, with a black shade. $50-ish.

$18 and quite similar to mine.

HOW I DID IT

This project took me about 2 hours; it was a little longer than needed due to filming and photography.

STEP 1: ACQUIRE PARASOL

I searched “vintage parasol”. Imagine that.

STEP 2: GATHER MATERIALS

PARASOL. CULTURED MAG TO PROTECT TABLE (SORRY SOPHIE CALLE). THICK WIRE (I USED PICTURE WIRE GRADED FOR UP TO 30LBS). DRILL. SMALLEST DRILLBIT. HACKSAW. SCISSORS.

STEP 3: SAW OFF HANDLE

Look for an interior sliding mechanism on the shaft. If there is one, it will be much like the metal mechanism on an umbrella (called the “runner”). I decided to trim my parasol just below the end of the runner, so the parasol shaft would not likely come out of the sliding mechanism. Saw off that handle.

STEP 4: DRILL HOLE IN HANDLE

Drill a hole to thread the wire through. I wish I had drilled this hole higher to make it easier for the parasol to stay open when hanging, and thus more flush with the ceiling.

STEP 5: ASSESS FLUSH MOUNT

This is also technically the real step 1. I’m assuming you are also using this to cover a standard hideous boob light flush mount. My original flush mount was attached via this middle rod, so that’s what I’m using to attach this light cover.

STEP 6: WIRE TIME

I used picture hanging wire. I cut two long pieces; one about 2-3 feet to play around the flush mount itself, and a longer piece, maybe 5 feet, to hang the shade.

STEP 7: WRAP WIRE ON LIGHT BASE

Grab the shorter, 3-foot cut of wire. I started by creating an insane bundle of knots and wrapping, then screwing the washer beneath it. Ensure the knots are secure before tightening the washer, as I’m really using the washer as a second line of defense, not the main weight-bearing mechanism. You’ll see in this knot bundle that, toward the top, I left a few small gaps rather than have the wire completely flat everywhere. You’ll want to create at least one of these gaps, toward the top, not the bottom. This is what I used to thread the shade through.

Disclaimer: Attempt this project at your own risk. I swapped the fluorescent bulbs for LEDs to minimize fire hazard, and only wrapped the wire around the non-electric middle base (where my light was affixed to begin with). The parasol is just as far from the bulbs as my purchased paper lamps and IKEA lanterns are, and I did this project in my bedroom, where the light will only be on for maybe an hour each night. I’d recommend a different hanging mechanism for a light that will be on for the majority of the day. I’m working on designing that now and will update the post when I create a solution! I would not recommend putting one of these in a bathroom, unless you treat the shade with wax beforehand, as the steam will likely weaken, warp, or dissolve the paper over time.

STEP 7.5: WRAP WIRE ON PARASOL BASE

If you wrap one end of the wire in one direction around the shaft, it will just slide off in a coil shape. Instead of threading the wire through just a few inches and wrapping that loose end around the wooden shaft, you’re going to want to thread a little more of the wire, about 1.5 feet, through the hole, so there is 1/3 of the wire coming through one side of the hole, and about 2/3 of the wire left on the other. Wrap the ends of the wire clockwise and counterclockwise, in a sort of braiding motion, crossing with each other as they wrap around the shaft, to create tension. If you’re someone who operates better with explicit instructions than intuition, you may find a picture-hanging tutorial for tension knots in wire helpful.

We now have the wire securely attached to both the flush mount and the shade. Installation was made more difficult by the fact that my bed was already assembled under the light I needed to access.

I would not recommend taking on this project without a ladder tall enough to see inside the shade as much as possible. It’s less safe, not as precise, and you’ll likely damage the delicate shade in the process.

This is the last interior photo I was able to capture before the shade was too flush to get a photo. The wire from the shade has been threaded through one of the top gaps in the wire bundle at the flush-mount screw. To test the tension, I pulled the excess shade wire through the gap to raise the shade, like a pulley system. Go to 1:01 of my video on the process to see a visual.

Broke out the 6-foot ladder to finish the knots, tying the excess wire on the shade through another gap on the flush-mount wire bundle.

I pushed it around a bit to test the security again. It fell about 1 inch and has stayed at that height since. It still satisfies my vision when it’s not completely flush, plus it has better light throw and is probably safer this way.

ET VOILA!!!! ✰ 1 LIGHT DOWN, 5 TO GO… ✰

TIL’ NEXT TIME!

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<3 This letter is brought to you by HINGE <3 which I am personally rebranding as the app to be deleted, and re-downloaded, and deleted and redownloaded, and hopefully then deleted For Good because such is MY story and the spice of life. I met my two favorite exes on there!! #HingePartner. Sponsored mention. All opinions are my own and PigPen is not affiliated with any of the other mentioned parties

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Historically, and unpopularly, I’ve enjoyed dating, despite all the lackluster-to-terrible things that occur in the process. This is probably because I think everything is material, which might be a more latent form of the Gen-Z propensity to commodify everything. Still, I’m told to believe that my generational dating circumstances are uniquely bad, and that I should worry about things like why we’re all interviewing each other and whether my future husband is going to try to write an AI girlfriend into our marriage agreement. I know what my friends think, but what do other Gen-Zs, in real life, not in comment sections, think about the state of dating? Should I hang up a flyer with my number downtown? Should I abandon my earnest trials and take up a hobby making supercuts of the worst of online dating? What else is there? Nine of us strangers took our seats and dutifully waited for Esther to begin sharing her takes.

One woman opened a blank notebook, pen at the ready, and gestured to Esther. “So, I have an anxious attachment style, and I feel like I attract avoidant people, and I’m wondering if I should work on that, being with these avoidant people, or what the best type of person is for me to try to be with…” Esther paused. “We used to call all of these different words and labels psycho-babble”. We laughed. “If you don’t want to be the anxious one, just date someone more anxious than you, ha! We are not one thing. We can change depending on who we are and what is around us. Just because you are anxious now does not mean you have to be anxious forever. I think the question is who do you want to become?”

The table fell pensively silent, before sharing a light-hearted giggle, and a “Ok, Esther, damn.” I began taking mental notes, trying to make sense of Esther’s responses so I would later have an answer to “What was she like? What did she say?” Esther was quick to note that the most common comment across all of her channels is “DUMP HIM!!!” “Dump him, dump him, dump him”, she said. “Why do people think that’s the answer to everything?” The woman next to me admitted that her parents were on-again, off-again for years before committing to each other, and that they have now been married for years, happily in love.

We went around, admitting to anxiety about not just the dating itself, but the performance of dating. One woman at the table joked about being really excited to get a boyfriend, only to have articles about whether or not it’s embarrassing to have a boyfriend surface the next day. It’s hard enough to date for your own life and values, now there are dating trends to mind?

There’s a lingering pressure to stay vigilant against potential infractions, not just to prevent hurt, but to prevent embarrassment around letting yourself experience romantic disappointments. After all, there are so many cautionary tales available online; if you dated someone, and it ended in pain determined to be preventable, based on the plethora of internet dogmas we’ve created labels and theories for to eliminate errors of lived experiences, then you obviously had it coming.

The tone around dating began to soften, feeling free and encouraging as the conversation about breaking labels, doing things your own way, and dignifying your own path and experiences continued. Esther reflected on a recent podcast episode in which she talked to a couple working through a 25-year affair. Her comment sections were shocked that Esther would do anything except advise that they end it. Someone piped up at the table. “Ok, so, this is sort of relevant because there’s someone at work right now who is flirting with me…but they have a partner, and they said they’re going to leave their partner…we’re going to be working together a long time and I’m like…” Just when we expected the conversation would continue in the direction of this very fluid “there’s no right way” harmony, Esther plainly responds, in the full force of her Belgian accent, “It seems you are there to work, not be stuck in the grips of rumination!” We howled at her unhesitating response, and for the rest of the night, joked that relationships can be totally unconventional, with the exception of the person distracted by their flirting coworker.

I thought about a close friend’s breakup. She had just picked out rings with her partner of 5 years, planned an engagement trip, and received a letter from him on Valentine’s Day about spending the rest of their lives together, only to be broken up with via text and a subsequent 12-minute phone call a few days later. Of course, we all spent the first days looking for answers, dwelling on how insane the whole thing is, and dissecting his flaws, searching for holes that could have predicted this. Friends who heard the tale anxiously joked about texting their partners of five years to make sure they still actually love them.

The only concrete conclusion we have reached is that no one could have predicted this, and it sucks that it happened. I’ve actually had a breakup where you could have predicted it, and my friends told me so afterward, and it still sucks that it happened.

She and I text daily. “Status report?”, we say. Sometimes it’s about the breakup, sometimes not. I’ve gotten very comfortable with saying “yeah, that’s hard, and I literally don’t know what to say”. Incidentally, we’ve realized this is one of the most useful responses, as we’ve never gone through something like this together. It’s deep grief, but she isn’t catatonic and sad. Her whole life feels as if it’s been stolen, but that reality doesn’t reflect back to her. She’s smart, hilarious, good at her job, honest, dynamic, fit, attractive, well-primed for financial mobility, and has many friends. Things are going on as normal, which is even more unsettling. She’s been going on dates. One guy didn’t even pay for her coffee. The next guy was great, funny. She’s emotionally exhausted, and we laugh over FaceTime.

I stayed at hers for a few weekends just to be there. My therapist asked how I was going to take care of myself during this time, and when I alluded to the fact that my friend was doing a lot worse than me and therefore more in need, my therapist said, “Well, I meant how do you feel since your Platonic ideal of healthy love didn’t last?” Ok, damn. I hadn’t considered that in this breakup, more than one of us was recalibrating. I looked up recalibrate. I do this often with words I use all the time, to make sure I even know what they mean.

Recalibrate: “To ensure accuracy after it has drifted”.

The evening with Esther ultimately became a masterclass in mindfulness, in recalibrating, more than anything. How are you to stay in it without becoming exhausted by the whole thing? These were my takeaways.

Don’t Call It Dating

I recently met a guy at my friend’s engagement party, in town from London. He was leaving the next day, but we had a good conversation when we met. He texted me the next morning, saying, “Hey, wanna grab a burger or a drink later today, say late afternoon?” I was unfortunately busy, but a lot of the people I’ve ended up in long-term relationships with have operated this way. One of my favorite exes (thanks, Hinge) and I started dating via a one-night stand after a double date. My roommate (the other half of the date) and I drunkenly had this guy and his friend install our A/C units for us after walking us home. We went out two days in a row after that, then went to Miami, Florida, for 4 days to go clubbing together. Imagine my anxiety when our hotel room had no bathroom door, just a glass partition. The lobby saw a lot of me that weekend. We were together for almost three years. Mind you, the word “love-bombing” never came up once. I imagine if I were doing social media recaps, the comment section would be singing a different tune. Esther remarked that she never really even used the word dating, she was just “meeting people.”

A friend of mine was on Hinge, and didn’t want to drag out the whole Pen Pal thing in the app, but didn’t have any availability to go on a proper, typical “drinks date” for two weeks. He asked what she was doing, and she said, “I’m going to Cafe Forgot and the pharmacy if you want to come.” He did. They went on a few dates after this. The next one, he met up with all of us for coffee. This was months ago, and we’ve since remarked how funny it was that Mr. Five Dates met all of us at one point. I realize in hindsight this was another Esther-ism from the dinner; should meeting the friends really be a whole thing? In plainly hilarious Esther fashion, she remarked, “The best thing to do is have them meet your friends right away. Say, ‘we’re all going for a drink, do you want to come?’ Then, you know on some level if he fits into your life or not. Say it doesn’t work out, he will leave your life, and you wouldn’t even notice! You are with your friends having drinks, laughing. If it does keep going, you already have that relation to your friends in mind as you continue. Less work to get together with them later, and have your sister think, oh…this is so wrong…”

On The Intimacy of Being Found Out

One person at the table expressed anxiety around the clumsiness and intimacy around the pitfalls of dating when you’re navigating evolving gender identity, or just being a person in your 20s figuring it out. We’d discussed that it’s easier than ever to commodify other people, and that for Gen-Z, relationships can become an extension of consumption. There’s a lot of discourse about this illusion of limitless options and treating potential partners as though they’re disposable, but what about how we internalize this on the receiving end?

I’ve certainly waited to “start dating again” until I’m on a good work or hobby run (because I usually have enough stability to feel like I can take something else on), and it can set expectations that every version of myself can’t meet. I once went on a first date during which I told some true things about my life. I just got back from a solo month in London. I will be on a billboard in Soho later this week. I am going to Paris for fashion week. I was having a generational run, which made it all the more anxiety-inducing to fall into an insomnia episode and also reveal that I eat mac and cheese in my bed, not even when I’m doing badly, but on purpose, like once a week, and I’m actually not dependably sociable. My therapist suggested I make a point to go on dates in all different sorts of seasons and moods. I said, “but I’m pale-ugly and sort of out of shape, my apartment is a wreck, and I don’t like myself or my job right now.” She responded, “Well, that’s also you, and this is a part of your life.” Tough.

It seems as though we are all looking for someone to grow with, as long as I will know the ways in which they will grow and how long it will take. I can’t remember Esther’s response to this, so I’ll sub in with a cutting, apropos observation a friend made about a man who broke it off to “find himself”. Our friend said, “It seems he thinks identity can be found, when really it must be forged.” This struck me, as I forget that dating when you’re a work in progress (as most people would admit to being, in perpetuity), is not “wasting other people’s time”. It seems a robbery to continually optimize away the experiences that ultimately comprise life itself. Is this not what dating is for? Spending time together, learning, and reflecting upon the decision to keep going? The hardest part, of course, is deciding whether or not to continue.

On Narrative

This segued into cheating, lying, all the levels of small mistakes, and truly sordid things people unfortunately do in real life. There was some really beautiful, honest sharing, questioning to what degree we want to brand ourselves with our mistakes. What’s the right time to disclose your ugliness to someone? Is it trauma dumping, or is it “owed” to the person as a sort of transparent “disclosure” so they know what they’re getting into? What sort of mistakes or pitfalls can I tolerate in other people? How do I know my values if I tolerate different things in different partners? Again, Esther doesn’t cling to one dogma. She’s smart enough to know she can’t answer questions one way, one time, for everyone. She’s taking stock of someone’s disposition, history, and hopes for the future, not playing to an imagined rulebook. My friends and I often discuss this conundrum. What’s the truth about me?

We concluded that an evolving narrative for the ugly parts isn’t about reframing mistakes in our favor with therapy-speak or omitting relevant details in hopes of painting a better picture of ourselves, but about constantly recalibrating what’s both important to us and necessary for us going forward. On a lighter note, trying to tell someone every detail about yourself to ensure “transparency” for “true compatibility” is such an uptight drag. I forget a lot of things about my life until they come up in conversation, which is one of the most fun parts of getting to know someone. I’ve been working on letting people learn about me without me telling them every detail explicitly, and working to not excavate them in return. They say Gen-Z isn’t having sex, and that everyone is beautiful but not horny. Esther’s content frequently revisits that mystery and security need to exist in tandem to fuel desire, and the difficulty is navigating this balance. I love getting ideas from question games, but there’s nothing sexy about forcing vulnerability with a list of questions like you’re running a polygraph.

In dating, practicing this can feel intimidating and clumsy, but I try to make an effort to continue to get to know my friends, too. I only learned this year that one of my closest friends ran a Christian blog for years when she was a child. This reminded me that I used to be a bible camp counselor for multiple summers, which is hilarious because I got in trouble as a child for telling people at church I was an atheist.

On Heartbreak (and expectation)

One person at the table had mentioned they thought they were heartbroken, but later realized they weren’t in love with this person. Esther pulled out another banger of a line. “It seems that was just a narcissistic injury”. I gathered that, while Esther doesn’t jump to labels to draw larger societal conclusions or label ourselves on apps, it can be useful to distinguish your experiences for yourself. She emphasized the importance of not just having someone to tell things to, but someone to trust as a small witness to your experiences. I once had such a good meet-cute and a lot of “box checking” with a person that it became a bit of a subconscious pressure to continue. I was also in a miserable time in my life and needed the ego boost of having one thing “going right”, or even fantasizing about its theoretical correctness, while I was miserable. My best friend offered the notion that I could break up with this person. I decided to play it out a while longer, ending in a small heartbreak. I’ve often joked to friends that you either break up or get married, so Esther’s labeling idea makes me think we need some private titles for awards inbetween. This one still takes the cake for best meet-cute of my dating history.

Esther joked about her “memory box” of her dating life. She said she occasionally paws through old photos and mementos and thinks “ah…I had good taste. Him, not so much…oh, this was fun, I’d like to have fun like that again.” She co-signed how hard it must be for Gen-Z to have such a plethora of enduring media from relationships that didn’t last, while simultaneously wanting to hold onto it, as being able to “delete” people from your lives feels easier than ever. She suggested printing a few photos and putting them in a physical memory box, or moving photos off of your phone to a harder-to-access drive. This was one of her rare “analog” tips, so I took it to heart.

I admire her holistic appreciation for life and its experiences. Esther doesn’t exude an unwavering, implausible positivity, or rose-colored glasses about past difficulties. She seems committed to being grateful for the good times, taking the shit in stride, and moving forward. 68 looks better on her than 28 has looked on me. But, 29, soon, hopefully with more Esther.

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As a fan of her work, I should have known better than to think she would come with a dogma she’s been secretly pocketing, the cure to despair and restlessness. So, what was Esther like? She’s a bundle of contradictions. She has a special openness and gives permission, without naive optimism or lazy placation. She responds with questions or stories, not explicit advice. She’s direct, but not didactic. She says what she thinks, but more importantly, wants to excavate what you think. She asks questions to get to know you, not to assess the answers. She loves hearing stories, telling stories, laughing, and pushing back. She’ll flick a little conversation card at you across the table when you’re both giggling and blushing over a realization. She speaks plainly about mistakes, shortcomings, and emotions, and thanks people for sharing because she knows we aren’t owed something as special as deep connection with complete strangers. She asks questions more than she gives answers. She pays attention to the facial expressions of the quietest person in the room and will call on them if she sees an eyebrow furrow. I realized that in just three hours, I was able to observe all of these things about a person, and have this depth of experience with someone without any mention of how many siblings they had, where they’re from, or what their “life goals” are.

Although I wasn’t assessing Esther for relationship compatibility, I liked spending time with her, I’d love to see her again, and could learn those simple facts later. Maybe that’s dating. I found this simplicity inspiring. The most humiliating thing about being Gen-Z is having to practice what feels like they should be natural ways of living. Esther would say we need not be ashamed of this. Be there and recalibrate!!! Read ’s reflection on the evening.

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TIL’ NEXT TIME!!!

I remember going to Montgomery Mall as a child, seeing that blue box with silver lettering and thinking it was the fanciest brand that ever existed. Part of me still feels this way. Unboxing my new (old) pair of Stuarts from TRR last week made my heart flutter - I didn’t know they were going to be near-new in the box! (Typing Stuart Weitzman is annoying, so it’s “Stuart” from here on out.)

I’ve posted about niche brands I love in the past (Leonore Doskow silver letter charms), only to find we cleared the lot. I’ve hunted down other 1 of 1 adorable vintage pairs, only to find they’re infested with dry rot or the brand isn’t high enough quality to warrant repairs, meaning the shoes won’t become mainstays in my closet.

I love all shoes (new/old, cheap/expensive, standing room only/20k-step approved), and I love to search, but I know not everyone feels this way. IS THERE ANY SEARCH THAT ENDURES???? Yes, the well of VINTAGE STUART, the closest thing we have to a silver bullet, somehow runs the gamut. Well-priced, in good condition, of high enough quality to repair, more comfortable than not, and with options for many silhouettes and aesthetics.

I found my first pair of Stuart Weitzman heels on eBay 4 years ago. I’ve walked countless steps in them and have only replaced the heel caps once.

So, whether you need a quick dopamine hit for the changing of the seasons, an event shoe that you don’t need to be precious about at a Berkshire campground wedding (one of my imminent circumstances), a work or job interview outfit you don’t want to spend big on, or a salve for the designer shoe out of the current price range, I would nearly guarantee that STUART CAN OBLIGE!!!

I searched “vintage Stuart Weitzman”, “vintage Stuart Weitzman mules”, and “vintage Stuart Weitzman sandals”. Filter by “pre-owned” to eliminate weird drop-shipped listings. Filter by your size, plus one above and one below. Here’s the whole list, featuring pairs not included in this letter. Don’t forget to make an offer.

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MY CURRENT STUART EDIT

If your taste is freakier than your budget. PAGING COMMES/TORY/PEGGY MOFFETT GIRLS...$75.

For the Bode-heads. $48. Also in paisley.

Craving 2000s Prada-style playfulness. $60

Also feels Prada/ Miu Miu adjacent, but FW1999. $35.

Even the Prada Sport girls are covered here. Fun for the whole family!!! Can’t put a price on a somehow chic ergonomic wedge, but if you could, it would be $85.

Or, a sexier date-forward wedge for $34.

For the vintage Hermes lover…eerily similar to a $400 wedge I’ve had my eye on. $25.

Like The Row’s $1000 woven sandals, but with a glamorous vintage charm. I have these in black. Trying to find another pair! $75.

For the Cavalli print-on-print types. $80.

Jenna Rink cosplay. $60.

TIL’ NEXT TIME! Thank you for being here! This letter is free, so if you know anyone on a shoe hunt, feel free to share it.

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More than that, my life has always been more Curb Your Enthusiasm or Arrested Development than Pollyanna, so it seems a waste of ripe material to try to tamp down all the charms of what actually happened into a sunnier submission. Reading Brian Eno’s diary, A Year With Swollen Appendices, during the summer of 2024 made this venture feel all the more worth committing to, as one day, all of these little details will have been my life.

I started this new, adjacent habit in an abstract form in 2017, when living with my charming, late adopted mother, Moira, in Luxembourg. She was larger than life, the highlight of my clumsy, stupid college existence, and embodied what people think they mean when they use words like “chic” or “iconic”. I wrote about her constantly. She (suspiciously, story for another time) passed away shortly after I moved back to the US. I miss her every day. Since re-reading my Moira Diaries three years ago, I have kept a dedicated Funny Lucky Cute (FLC, for short) on my phone. Every year is a new note, formatted with dates of funny, lucky, or cute things that happened to me or that I witnessed.

I re-read the FLC when I’m sour. If I’m feeling dull, it helps to stir up a little anecdote to bring to the party. In fact, I am posting this because I recounted one last week at a gathering, and said that she’d like to hear more of them. People also love a little callback in a birthday card. “How did you remember that? I loved that day!” they say, and I nod, distractedly wondering if I only do these things so people can commend me for being so thoughtful, observant, and interesting. The Reddit threads about this concern were inconclusive.

This list is my favorite thing, unless you’ve had the singular pleasure of FLC UNCUT, in which case, it’s my second favorite thing. These are not in order. If you think one of these is someone in my life or orbit, no, it isn’t unless you think it’s positive, then it is. This is a small selection of the archive. It’s notes-app writing, all typos are intentional. Some entries edited for contextual clarity. If you see me in person, I’ll indulge you in an UNCUT, FRIENDS-ONLY FLC.

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1/1 (12:32 am) I ran into a glass wall at the CEO of [redacted] house because it was so clean. It banged like a gong, and I saw birds around my head like a Looney Tunes cartoon, but I did not spill my martini. The butler looked like bugs bunny as a conductor and he winked and pushed the glass wall back into place

1/2 AM - All [redacted] wants this year is love and the first thing Sydney does is call to let [redacted] know she isn’t going to find it this year because she threw up all the midnight grapes

1/2 - A friend said the guy she was dating was a clown and my friend said “Aren’t they all” and [friend] said no he’s really a clown and we looked up his clown residency and he really is a clown

1/6 - Doing the sober thing. Cookies being next to Crack Cocaine on the sobriety tracker made Christian and I laugh.

1/8 - Kelsey and I saw the Tane necklace I love and want to buy literally at the museum in a display

1/8 - The guy at the dumpling place said he recognized us and gave us all dumpling cards backlogged for FREE STAMPS of dumplings based on how many cities in China we could name

1/22 - Annie Rauwerda said SHE is a fan of ME!!!!!! but I am a fan of HER ⭐️🪷🐬

1/31 - Dog almost done with the agility course at Javitz Westminster prelims and then stopped and took a huge shit on the course right in front of the last jump. Carmen got complimented on her Pomeranian sweater

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2/4 - Kelsey surprised me with 4 macarons in my favorite flavors. Hannah stitched my brass lip button on my coat

2/8 I mean what’s been funny lately, really. Nothing. Although yesterday met this lovely British man. He’s running a marathon every month this year in honor of his friend who committed suicide. Lauren told him he should really get a colonoscopy to get his polyps checked bc of all the running. We’re telling Debbie about our weekend, and the marathon thing, and before Lauren can even say more, Debbie goes, “he should really get his polyps checked with a colonoscopy”. Good looking out to have friends getting PhDs in colon cancer

2/17 - The dentist tech held my hand the whole time I got the novocaine shot and told me I didn’t have to be brave but that did make me feel brave

2/18, later - I just remembered when Lauren and I would goof around during the pandemic and a guy had asked for her # and she got it but they never really went out. Then I randomly ended up meeting him and he asked for my number to ask me out and I gave him his number. He said no that’s my number and I said what are you talking about, it’s my number. He was so freaked out so we didn’t go out. Litmus for sense of humor

2/20 Took Hannah to a 9-hour class at NYU called “Becoming You” because [redacted] works for her so we could go for free. The two of us chuckleheads in there. Christ.

2/23 I had the most fun day with a girl who DMed me. against better judgement to meet up with a stranger in Paris. She works for the Musée d’Orsay and we took a private tour, then shared a gratin and coffee and got tipsy. We went to the epicerie together, and the taster people checked on my allergy after I tried the pesto. I pretended to be suffocating, and it made them laugh. Slapstick transcends language barrier

2/25 - The mustard at lunch was so spicy it almost killed me like Loony Tunes skull cap rattling type shit. Then the waiter made hilarious, exasperated eye contact with me as he spooned a giant dollop of chocolate mousse onto someone’s plate, as if the patron were a real gluttonous annoyance, god forbid, ordering something from the menu. I then bought a pair of Tabis, and later at dinner, a table of French people were teasing, talking about about Americans shopping in Paris, but they didn’t realize I speak UN PETIT PEU!!! of French, so I said do you want a haul and they did. I gave them one, and they invited me to have dinner with them. They were celebrating this girl’s first day of work. The girl looked like Alma from Phantom Thread, the woman like Olivia Coleman, and the man like Ricky Gervais and Leonardo DiCaprio mixed together. We shared caramel souffles and the guy made me take a boomerang of his. More wine, played pool, and went to a club, and I thought about how I would never get hammered and vape with my boss, another coworker, and a stranger after my first day of work.

2/26 - randomly went on a date for 8 hours with the waiter from the restaurant last night. We were supposed to go to a garden but it was pouring so we went to a random garage to look at hideous sculptures. I found out he was 23 and doesn’t really speak English but we had a great time. We talked about the villain in 500 Days of Summer, and he doesn’t think there is one, just two people who couldn’t align (poorly paraphrasing here). I disagreed. I cried laughing on the train of him in his French accent saying, “is your job even real, you are mysteriously traveling and posting things on your instagram which is not your name, it is something weird to me...” I agree with that. Every dog we saw, he pointed it out and said, “playmate for piggy”. Then at the end of the night he said something like "even though he has not travelled this weekend, he experienced another part of the world through me and is grateful for that”. He sent flowers and a card to my hotel to say goodbye and apologized for not finding a card with a dog on it.

2.27 - Halle told me she started FLC-ing and loves it. I taught her FFT (free flowing thought)*, which she also enjoyed and that made me happy and laugh

*free flowing thought is just what we say when you know what you’re about to say is so stupid but you need to say it

3

3/8 - We met a big American boxer on the train named Maximus who was so afraid of skateboards that he was trembling. But someone was just holding one, they weren’t even on it. Pig is the same way. His owner loves him so much. I am the same way. They got in a car accident together a few years ago and Maximus still needs help walking on his back legs. His owner pet him and goes “yeah my boy Maximus” then gestured to the animal on his back and said “And this is minimus. He doesn’t go anywhere without him”. Something about this tough grown man, like The Rock, talking about how he and his little buddy Maximus don’t go anywhere without each other. sobbing

3/8 - went on a date with a guy whose parents send their dogs to the “sausage dog hotel” in London. All daschunds. That’s his dream, apparently. to own one

Met up with friends at Oceans 8 and met these insane, silly men. 8 of them, like the cartoon dwarves. we played my name matrix game (unsayable ←→ sexy, fake ←→ real) with everyone. Attempted trick shots. Can you hold his legs so I can shoot through them. Great way to meet people. Weird separate man kept eavesdropping, then interrupting us to give commentary. Said he had never heard anyone say “being a loser isn’t illegal”. We say this all the time. A guy on the street asked Christian for a hug when we left and the weird man popped out of nowhere from behind him. Hammy and I had an adult sleepover.

3/10 - Woman at [redacted] came up behind me and said “I’m SOOO sorry I’m late” and then realized I wasn’t her friend when I turned around. She then pointed to her friend, who had long, thick, dark hair and a cool shirt on, and said, “So sorry, I thought you were my friend.” I said thank you for thinking my scraggly mop was her thick hair, that made my entire day! She laughed. And [redacted] has a crush! Even better, long story, she has a digital camera photo of him on HER camera that she didn’t acquire in a creepy way. That’s the kind of thing that gets you through, so it’s fun to see her have one. And then I can be through by association. I can’t taste it, but how good is it to smell it etc etc.

3/11 Jo texted me that a song reminded her of me, but she wasn’t sure why. I played it, and it was melancholy and critical in the lyrics, but still feel good and theatrical which is all a good compliment.

Just think of those shocks you’ve got

And those knocks you’ve got

And those blues you’ve got

From those news you’ve got

And those pains you’ve got

(If any brains you’ve got)

From those little radios

ANYTHING GOES!!!!

3/14 We all got drunk watching the top 100 music videos of all time from 100 to 1 and ranking them. “Hung up” by Madonna comes on and [redacted] goes “I can’t believe the Kennedys did that to her...” howled. Chatting Bowen Yang on Grindr. Totally

3/14 - Asked grandpa how he was, and he said, in his Kentucky accent, “I got 1 foot in the grave and one on a banana peel”. Saw the rescue rocket launch

3/16 - Thought I was grabbing my Hermes lipstick from my bag and pulled out Pig’s fresh fecal sample. Totally

Wet, overcast day. Listening to The Greatest by Lana del Rey. Right as the crescendo hit, the sun came out from behind the clouds

3/16 - text received. “10 min into Zootopia wtf I’m crying. Let this bunny be a cop. Like the only time I’m pro-cop”

4

4/7 - We got to see Nafis DESPITE waiting in Amherst (where he doesn’t even live) in the car for an hour in the rain. All worked out. Took 3 Polaroids on the rare 18x24. Couldn’t figure out how to use the elevator at MIT which inspired us to look up the acceptance scores for our colleges. Higher than we’d like. I picked a helter skelter Airbnb. J. lucky’s house…in hindsight, should’ve known for $35/night. Shared bathrooms and a giant padlock. There was a towel swan, however

4/19 - All of us laughing remembering when a guy in SF yelled to Gia “damn girl your ass is so flat, you should just k*ll yourself”

5

5/1 [redacted] and I found a little statue on the street corner when we were tipsy and Kelsey yelled at me for bringing it home because she thinks it’s an evil spirit. We named him Heim. He lives on the fire escape. (Editor’s note: There are many notes about Heim. Kelsey turned out to be sort of right because Heim did go missing then reappeared, so).

5/11 - Kelsey and i “got up early” went to Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru. First time, we go all the way to the window without even ordering. The lady is like is this your first day on earth. Second time, we have our window down but the Dunkin window is shut and Kelsey is pressing on her car window button to try to get the Dunkin window to go down. The same lady thinks we’re on bath salts at this point. We really thought we were getting the worm at Brimfield mind you it’s 9 am. midday for some

5/17 - Mom and aunt went to 4 different stores to get me Chex Mix for the flight to Sweden

5/22 - I had given a sweater to a woman outside once because it was cold, and in a shocking karmic cycle, the same woman broke into our building and shit and threw up on it in the foyer.

5/23 - Delivery driver took hauntingly beautiful, almost Lynchian photo of my Westville onion rings. Generational jokes - Bink-182 by Christian. Azelia Binks by Gia. (We call Pig “Binks” sometimes). Hilarious

6

6/6 - Had mozzarella sticks with Lauren in Philly and we laughed about [redacted] saying her med school crush isn’t that hot, but is an Albany 10. I’m a New Haven 8 probably maybe

6/17 - A woman stopped Pig while she was sniffing to say hi and ask what breed. Pig turned to her and started barking and the woman said, “OH! I’ve woken a dreamer...”

7

7/6 - Man at the farm market gave me a free apricot and a single beautiful purple flower. Ran into Jorge and Zana at Seco! Which is always the sort of thing that makes me feel so connected as an adult running into new pal-ish people in a place I don’t live

7/29 - [redacted] thought “burger no” on the Minetta Tavern menu was to order accoutrements and ended up taking everything off her burger and paying like $42 to just get a bare patty delivered to her house in a bag. In menstrual desperation no less. Cried laughing on FaceTime with her

7/30. Saw an aura reader and a psychic today. Home Depot guy said “my wife used to ask why I would bring home tools I didn’t have work for. I told her when you have the tool, the work will come.”

Ran into Matt nearly next to my apartment while holding my giant new coffee grinder. He didn’t know I lived there, and he doesn’t even live here, which made it all the cuter. We grabbed a drink and watched the water

8

8/9 Was feeling freaky at Sarah’s birthday, digging myself into a hole talking about the full moon and the lion’s gate portal being open. This couple I just met started looking at me sideways, then, thank God, Avery one-ups me by talking about how she feeds her cats moon water. Every pot’s got a lid

8/12 - grateful that the Pelham Bay 6 always waits for the 4/5 so people can transfer if they want to go short distances. It feels like one of the few things in New York that makes sense.

8/13 - I met Tory Burch tonight!! Someone on her team remembered when I got dumped and went to Tory Burch to feel better and vlogged it and that post accidentally drove so much EMV that it was in their company slideshow. Lol

8/13 - man on Pacific Street. Orange polo. Missing Two of his front teeth. Holding a Ziploc bag. Jamaican accent. Interrupts me rattling the day off to Kelsey with my sailor tongue and says, “Excuse me, miss, you use obscenities so diplomatically. Like a frog on wood. Or like you’re from the US embassy.” best compliment I’ve ever gotten

8/13 - Saw a girl and her babysitter singing fabulous from High School Musical on my rainy walk to my Enterprise car rental

8/30 - A woman needed help getting instructions to go Uptown and said she was running late. I gave them to her and told her to get on the A train because the C is running local. The A train came and she let it pass and didn’t get on, and I said oh that was your train, the next one is the slower one. She said “but remember the tortoise and the hare…” and walked away.

9

9/6 - Two little girls ran from the promenade away from the sunset as it started to wane and yelled “THE DARK IS CHASING US”

9/25 - Kels kindly went to TJs to get me broth bc im sick, and as she’s asking where they keep the broth over facetime, someone’s hand comes into frame and literally grabbed the last one on camera right in front of me when I was trying to explain to her where it was without being able to point. Excellent comedic timing

10

10/1 - went to [redacted] after Alex Mill x Margaux and bartender Halle fully remembered me by name, which made me smile. She’s dating someone new! then found out her name is HAILEYYYY and I’ve been calling her Halle for 6 fucking months

10/15 - Haiku about the day:

Patina’d journals

When Ginger dons the bag, laugh

Nothing is frozen

Ginger is a dog walker I met at the park today. I asked if she had an extra bag and she already had one around her hand. She transferred it to my hands in such a way that we were holding hands through the empty poop bag. I felt frozen all day today and forgot that life is still happening. I could journal so much about it but I am not sure how much I am supposed to be writing about my life

10/30 - Ham asked if we should bike home from Tadpole for a nightcap in these ridiculous attempts at sexy lawyer outfits and Daniel and I clowned her because the three of us are always getting into the dumbest preventable scenarios together. We were hammered, it had just finished raining, I’ve only been on a bike 15 times, and we wanted to keep our kneecaps. But it was nice outside, so we walked for a long time. We went a block in silence, and trying to be meditative, I said, “Wow, it’s so peaceful over here,” and Daniel said, “Well, yeah, because you two skanks finally shut up”. Which was true obviously because Ham and I never stop talking

11

11/3 - [redacted] bit me as a joke then it lasted on my arm for like 3 weeks

11/6 - met [redacted]. [redacted]’s dad lol and he mentioned we need a word for when you feel cool and are then embarrassed to feel cool

11/17 - 6 of us dressed up for a chic, fantastical friendsgiving dinner, a real “le cote basque” type affair but it was so steamy at Raf’s, we were all flushed and wet with sweat, trying to take off our leather shoes under the table and fanning ourselves, asking them if they could turn the temp down while everyone else in the restaurant seemed to be just fine. My silk dress looked like Issey when I left because the steam radiating from my ass on the leather booth had pleated it. The waiter thought we were insane. whatever we’re leaning into it and getting more and more wine drunk on a sunday, chicken drippings all over the table. Soco starts telling a hilarious story and shows a photo of her bloody feet at the exact right time. Livy spat all her red wine across the table. breaking that level of a humor barrier with beautiful people you don’t know so, so well is like crack

11/18 - We asked the Falafel Heights guy what was up, and he said, “Just got back from Turkey,” and lifted up his hat to show his bloody ass head. Real

12

12/9 - A girl complimented my boots and said she never sees those in the wild. I said thanks, I got them so randomly at a closet sale, they were the only boots the seller had in my size. She said was this Allegra’s closet sale in the LES? I said yes. She said shut the fuck up, those are my boots, I’m Allegra’s friend and gave them to her to sell. I was wearing her boots

12/9 My dumb ass just learned that the Adam Schulman who called me very smart and interesting at a party last week is Anne Hathaway’s husband. I should remember to know who more people are

12/13 - The post office was decorated all cute for the holidays. They wrapped the doors and this made me emotional. The woman let me use her tape for free even though you usually have to buy it and they’re really strict about that. She remarked on how stupid that is when you only need one piece. I told her the post office decorations were so cute and she said thanks and we talked about if we decorate our apartments. She said she loves the holidays but wasn’t into it this year because her grandma just died. I told her I didn’t because I was depressed. We promised each other we would next year

12/16 - I bought kelsey a Bella buddy birdie dog cameo for xmas and then bella died before I got the cameo

12/18 - I waited at Walgreens for literally 2 hours for a single photo print for [redacted] xmas gift (time sensitive) and I kept asking if it was ready and they kept saying no. Finally, I asked one last time, is your machine broken? I got the confirmation text and have shown it both upstairs and downstairs at the register and it’s just one (ONE) single photo and she said “I know, I’m sorry, I just can’t find the screwdriver.” I said why do you need a screwdriver for a single photo print. found out my photo was actually there and ready the whole time but the woman somehow thought I was saying my name is Candy not Heather

12/23 - Grandpa (with dementia) interrupted Harry Potter and yelled “IM JUST SO HAPPY TRUDY IS MY WIFE!!! Wow!!!!!” Trudy said, “oh my god Mark shut up”. hahaahahahah. Then Grandpa said “She wants to tie me to the roof!” Ian and I laughed and laughed

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OK THAT’S ALL!!! I <3 TAKING NOTES AND LAUGHING!!! TIL’ NEXT TIME!

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I didn’t know why being a passionate train-insane-or-remain-the-same competitor seemed so important to everyone, but I knew, after a choreographer gave me a stern “you’ll never make it, kid” type speech in front of the class, that I was a failure and a disappointment for not becoming one.

After dance came my short-lived cross-country career, during which I met two characters who shifted this lens, Lucy and Kira. Lucy was very good at running (Kira, I’m sure you were too, but I don’t remember), but more than that, they were both hilarious and an inspiration in what sporting could be. During practice, we used to run into town and peel off to get the free bread slice of the day at the local bakery, then sit and giggle when we were supposed to be clocking an extra two miles. My friend Tess thought it was funny that I wore Lily Pulitzer jackets to practice and laid down in the grass between meets, and took endearing photos of this routine. Lucy and I became great friends and made a routine of hiking the Billy Goat Trail on weekends with our little group. No one tried to discount our active nature routine by pointing out that we were high the whole time. We went with our crushes to skinny dip in the creek and jump off the rope swing. I went to surf camp. I discovered hot yoga and Blogilates (sign of the times). Gigi and I gossiped while jumping on the trampoline. In college, I befriended a yoga teacher named Sophie who loved somersaults and making eggs, and took up weight training. A German guy I dated brought his merino sweaters and canvas pants on our hiking and camping trips.

I now look back on my clumsy sporting trials with a protective fondness. I don’t know why it felt so important to most that I be athletic (sturdy, strapping, competitive, a blood-thirsty WINNER!!!) when I had such a love for SPORTINESS…something that, by definition (jaunty, informal, sharp, sassy), I still find much more enticing. This is probably because parents want more for their children than going to raves and playing with sticks, but readers, THE ACTIVEWEAR SPACE AT LARGE IS MOVING TOWARD THIS SPIRIT!!!

This letter came to me, in part, in the wake of “wellness” (from the studied to the unhinged) creeping into every facet of American life, in conflict with the common desire from styling clients to “stop defaulting to activewear”.

Last summer, when I hiked around Iceland with my parents, we were going up against ice kayaking, mercurial days of rain, sun, fog, and every temp between, but I wasn’t inspired to buy anything for these purposes. If you look up “Iceland packing” on TikTok, you’ll see endless videos of people showing things they felt they had to buy last-minute at Target, REI, or Amazon, not for running ultra-marathons in the Alps, but for a vacation. I made out more than fine, cobbling together items I already had in my closet, which made me reconsider what an active dilettante like myself needs swaths of tactical gear for, anyway. I’ve learned that secondhand activewear isn't all that appealing to most, but I believe my Taurean stubbornness and Fantasia (1940)- level imagination can get us there.

What I packed:

A cashmere or merino wool sweater. I prefer hiking and yoga to anything else, both of which demand proper layering. Closest to the body, I threw on a true activewear layer, one of my FP movement tanks, then a sheer cotton top from J.Crew, nylon pants to protect against bugs and bushes, a merino-blend sweater for the morning chill, and sneakers. Merino wool is often used in hiking gear (famously, socks) as it’s naturally odor-resistant. I only rotated between two sweaters on the trip, hiking, dining, and sometimes sleeping in them, and they never smelled or felt dirty, while the idea of re-doning nylon I’d lightly sweat in makes my skin crawl.

A very eBay x TRR outfit. I bought these Jil Sander nylon pants for $60 in 2024 and realized they’d be perfect for wet, active conditions. My Chloe glasses acted as a bit of a shield, and I packed the Sorel (similar) boots I’ve been wearing in the snow since 2021. I layered two woolly sweaters under one of the only items I purchased for the trip, this vintage Pucci vest.

Wore the same Jil pants with this backless Cecilie Bahnsen t-shirt. The little flower stamens are made of beads, and the open back is flexible, so you can adjust the opening size to the conditions. My K-way raincoat, closing up into a belt bag, is especially practical. Mine unfolds into a large, avant-garde cape, but the pink-lavender would be my pick for a more traditional cut.

Got mogged by this man on the trail before I’d even finished my coffee. Using this slang doesn’t suit me, but I wanted to try it.

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My active-ish temp

SHOP THE (MOSTLY) SECONDHAND ACTIVEWEAR I’LL BE STYLING NEXT WEEK.

Most of my sporting outfits are a combo of something from my closet with traditional activewear. I can’t wait to style the Vivienne Tam tank I mentioned in my last letter for yoga or summer racket sports. I’m not a runner, so I usually wear my regular sunglasses to work outs. I found a JPG re-edition on TRR clearance for the price of a Lululemon scuba hoodie, and it’s become my most insane/spoiled thing to wear to yoga. The first time I wore it, my instructor Sabrina just pointed at me with two fingers and said, “MORE OF THIS. WHY DON’T WE DO MORE OF THIS!!!” And of course, the only shorts to rewrite the shorts of my Maryland lacrosse/field hockey youth - these Beditorial X Relax Lacrosse ruffle boxers.

A rainy day last November in a Frank & Eileen set, which I’m also currently wearing to pick up Thai food on this ill-stricken freezing March Friday. I find it’s good to have a few “I’m ugly </3” outfits in one’s back pocket so as not to be caught by surprise at one's most vulnerable, like knowing how to spin some sad leftovers into an enticing meal. Starting with a funnel-neck sweatshirt and some cropped sweats, I layered a button-down underneath and opted for a leather bag to break up the cotton-on-cotton-on-cotton. I’ve also found it useful to have more than one sneaker silhouette. These Puma X San San sneakers fit more like a climbing shoe, stylistically mimicking a ballet flat, making these orthopedic swaps less disruptive.

My suede Tod’s tote making her pilgrimage to Compost Island for my shift. Suede is also a choice here… an Etro PVC moment or even leather would be more ideal. I’ve been on the receiving end of many a pearl-clutching over this sort of thing in comment sections, but this isn’t 127 hours, it’s the ferry to Governor’s Island.

Try incorporating a different jacket or shoe into an activewear outfit to see how it resonates. I wore this to my first trampoline class yesterday at Casa Cipriani (like, ok). It was raining, so I wore this vintage Lisa Perry raincoat, which earned me many compliments from the old ladies in my neighborhood (my ideal cohort to impress).

Everything except the jacket and bag are standard workout fare: a long-sleeve Patagonia top that my mom bought maybe 15 years ago, Lululemon Align leggings (bought 5 years ago, tried and true for me), and Merrell sneakers. I didn’t consider that the studio was on the water, and that Casa Cipriani looks like a Disney cruise ship, so as soon as I approached the seaport area, my outfit started to look more Gorton’s Fish Sticks than space-age cool. Still, when I arrived home, dripping in sweat, my neighbor told me I looked like Mary Quant.

Herve Chapelier tote in the wild, and a very good airport outfit (pants on sale on TRR). I’m a canvas tote hater, always have been, so I have two of these. They’re waterproof, durable, have a zip closure, and come in delicious color pairings.

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To noodle on until pt.2…

Keep your eye on Alyssa Mosley, who’s launching her activewear brand, Nadia, this year. Think sleeper-activewear…an outfit you could still wear to a party, with no one the wiser.

and Isabella of Rummage Stretch, who curates what I’d call “outfits for the athleisure resistance”. It’s indubitably activewear, but with color-play and pairings that disrupt the matching-set movement.

My other activewear North Stars include Literary Sport, Relax Lacrosse, ROA Hiking, Live the Process, 437 activewear, FP Movement, and KKCo. Their “Climber top” reminds me of the County Faire peplum top I should have bought four years ago!!! I have one pair of County Faire pants and miss the brand every day.

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TIL’ NEXT TIME!!! <3

This dispatch details the agony and ecstasy of the present exports from our fickle, though often benevolent mistress (the secondhand economy). Hope you find what you’re looking for.

This post is too long for email, so select “read full message” at the bottom of this email, or open it in Substack to see the full post.

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BOUGHT!!!

I’ve had this vintage Hermes dog carrier saved for years. Every year, I’ve justified the yearly spend to carry Pig in this for the rest of her lifespan, and I couldn’t pull the trigger. The trouble with this hunt is that searching “vintage pet carrier” yields a lot of results that are almost aesthetically on the right track, but mostly look like something an evil Disney villain would use to carry a pet to the pound or an animal testing facility.

Pig is just a little too big for my other contenders: ironically toting a vintage Juicy carrier (the use of “extremely rare” here always tickles me) or this worn leather number. Her airport bag is too large for city carrying, and a tote lacks the hard bottom she (and I) need for support.

Heather Hurst, quoting Chris Fleming, “I don’t have an Hermes dog bag because I think something awaits me in the divine for resisting.” And the divine provided something about as close to the vintage Hermes as one could get. Hilariously, when I went to seek the bag’s origin story, the only place I could find it was on a blog penned by FUTUREBIRKINOWNER. Can’t wait to tote Pig in a 2007 Barney’s New York leather carrier for the next 10 years rest of forever.

I also made my first-ever order on Vinted this week. Vivienne Tam is one of about 7 brands I search for “newly listed” on every secondhand platform I open. This tank I screenshotted last year finally surfaced for $35. I can’t wait to sport this when it’s too hot to think about hand-washing my delicate mesh tops.

More on Vivienne Tam: I recently acquired a pair of boots (size 5.5, size 7, size 9, size 9.5) that make me excited about pencil skirts, and I suddenly have a renewed interest in Tam’s shorter offerings.

If you’re a size medium and looking to splurge on a Tam set for under $500, you’re in luck. I found the top on TRR and the skirt on Depop (fingers crossed they’d ship to the US…).

lightning strikes twice

Pieces I own that have resurfaced on the market.

This blue Tam blouse appears to be the cousin of my beloved floral summer shirt.

My Tod’s sequin sandals in another color.

My Rosetta Getty cutout dress. Here’s how I wore it last season.

A vintage carpet bag small enough for every day but large enough for a book.

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SLOT MACHINE

Things stewing in my saves; I’m going to let fate handle them.

Betsey Johnson grommet bag. Reminds me of the hard-to-find Miu Miu stud bag X the grommet bags currently available from the likes of Paloma Wool and other independent designers.

I need another long dress like I need a bullet in my left foot, but, stranger things…I put Le Gatte (and its sister brand, Save The Queen) in the same echelon as Cop Copine and Custo Barcelona. They’re regular searches for me, but the results are hit-or-miss, ranging from delightfully Jean Paul Gaultier to tragically Ed Hardy. The brand is Italian, and pieces are made with hand-designed patterns (and often hand-embroidered), so you’ll rarely find multiples of the same item. This dress is a hit for me. Even this top, which, speaking of Stranger Things, is a little Scoop’s Ahoy, but still strikes something deep within…

Still running on Tam Time. The secondhand market can make you feel as lost as a ball in the tall weeds, and as such, many gems go unfound. This $42 Vivienne Tam top would be heinous as a button-up, which it’s listed as, and which it is NOT!!! Upon closer inspection, this is a double-zip top in what appears to be mesh layered over thin leather: delightfully, Harold and Maude meets Charlie’s Angels. I’m itching to take the gamble on this.

Under $25

Jewelry box hunting is a bitch. This one doesn’t do much in terms of function, but it’s $23 shipped (I’d still make an offer!) and just darling.

One of my (many) less becoming traits is the insufferable smugness I feel when asked about a piece that presents as on-trend but not recognizable, and then answering, “Oh, this? Yeah, so random it was like $11.” This suede clutch, adorned with sculptural mixed metals, is my perfect shade of chocolate and big enough to fit a phone and a small book. It’s actually a whopping $14, but they sent an offer for $11 shortly after I favorited it. GO GO GO

take a chance…

on these $23 size 9 Fendi slides, “in need of some TLC”. I know vintage shoes aren’t for everyone, but I’m a freak, and “rejects” like these are why I have camping cashmere and work out in old JPG.

I’d snap these up, sanitize them, and get some glue on that left toe pronto. Ideal scenario: you have a studio, garage, or lake house you need “kick around” shoes for. echoing yell while futzing around in the green Bisley drawers in your garage “Honey…have you seen my Fendi slippers?”

onto something, or on something

Desires untethered…searches without reason…

A recommendation fed to me during the pet carrier search

DO YOU KNOW A BABY!!! I only know one Real Baby, whom I haven’t even met, but I keep hoarding baby saves. Maybe it’s because every child in Cobble Hill is better dressed than I am.

Why did I feel a burning hole in my heart when this Paul Frank baby beanie sold…

FINDS GONE TOO SOON…

I’m an “inbox zero” lady, even in my secondhand sites, so I delete items that sold. I trust that if I really want them, they will find me again. Goodbye, sweet ladies…

A perverted Vivienne Westwood Seditionaries shirt. I’m actually pissed about this one. It was $115. I slept on it to be “responsible” and woke to find her gone. I’m not linking it because it has a sexual rant on the back of it that would make my mother and friends text me belaboring that I never needed this in the first place, which would only be salt in this fresh wound…

These D&G zipper heels. Was I going to impulse-buy these $350 very-season, scenario-specific shoes? No. But it hurts that now the chance of me owning them, to sexily wash a car in, or carry my dog around while wearing a spiky bun, has gone from non-zero to 0. This was an ego-loss, like finding out someone you weren’t even that interested in is seeing someone else. Onto the next…

TELL ME OF YOUR CURRENT FIXATIONS

TIL NEXT TIME <3

As someone naturally drawn to sunburned blush placement, lace dresses, rich woods, summer fruits, and made a custom warm tiger-print couch, silver is a necessary foil (pun intended) in my dressing and decorating. This dispatch covers hunting vintage silver and my contemporary silver jewelers of choice, but first, a bit on some silvery moments that delight. I’m mostly featuring sterling silver, but there’s a bit of steel and pewter in here as well.

A grey-toned square shade (Zara Home interior project reject I absorbed and, unfortunately, get compliments on all the time; non-affiliate link) and this sharp steel Ananas Ananas tray (genius PR delivery vessel by J.Crew) keep our living room from veering too soft, round, and Welcome To The Jungle toned.

This sweet lace-on-lace combo feels naturally prairie-precious, and I felt adding gold to the front of the lace skirt would launch us into divine sun-goddess / Elizabeth Taylor’s Cleopatra territory. A few of my grandma’s silver hair clips still glimmer, but closer to the *SHING* sound of Uma Thurman’s THE BRIDE drawing her samurai sword in Kill Bill. In hindsight, also an excellent double-entendre as I’m in all white.

I keep a silver box and a gold box (another tell that I was raised on Brittany Murphy’s Uptown Girls disastrously glam apartment). A handful of these pieces are my mom’s or my first pieces of jewelry from my grandmother, for graduation. Some favorite contemporary pieces in my collection: Eli Burch Epitome ring, Leo ring, Loren Stewart orb ring.

Vintage comps for my collection: vintage square hoops, colored Taxco silver stone pendant (Here’s a pink one for $25 or a sexy black modernist guy for $50. All fabulous steals).

My LONG-LUSTED-AFTER wood vintage Rafael Sanchez purse comes with a fabric cord, which I occasionally swap for the steel chain that came with my vintage Miriam Marshall purse (found at Brimfield - see you there this year?). Draping silk and dreamy painted-wood taps my bohemian sensibilities, but I opted for black and steel to keep the ensemble from becoming too literal.

I’m also loving the vintage Miriam Marshal purse with the white set…perhaps with tan suede clogs. SOON!!

Collages (like the ones I’ve created below) make it easy to showcase multiple pieces at once, but they also sever them from the choices in setting and pairing that make them so compelling - so take note of the styling! This spiky, spindly winged vase with the striped, mixed woods and plush garden rug…yummy. Without further ado, here’s a smattering of my favorites…

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CONTEMPORARY JEWELERS

My favorite thing about finding independent designers is not just blowing open a new plethora of aesthetics, but how precious and fancy the process feels in a world of clicking checkout on a pair of gold-plated $300 earrings for two-day shipping from ShopBop via Amazon Prime. I feel so adult DMing someone about a custom piece for a wedding gift, and so connected having a real person respond to an Instagram story saying they’re excited to see me so excited about the thing they made by hand, sitting on my hand. Sue me, I’m a romantic.

Lucie Gledhill’s work fabulously blends design features across eras, such that I can’t place it. Is it punk, Irish, romantic, Mexican, neoclassical, modernist…it’s not my place to say! You’d know a Gledhill if you saw it. This rope chain is like braided hair (vintage opt here from a heritage Mexican brand). As much as I want to eat it, I also fear it. Learn more about Lucie and follow her work here.

This Lizzie Ames journal is actually on my future top-secret bridal board, but her work also represents what I love most about silver. There’s such potential for intricacy, movement, and sculpture at a more digestible price point. For now, I’m torn between the little seed pod earrings or the Baba earrings as an everyday-but-also-useful-for-events pair.

Kelly Fung’s work is NUTS. I’ve always wanted a fat, sculptural “is that an engagement ring?” ring, so this is also saved to my TOP SECRET BRIDE BOARD. It’s probably more imminently useful to someone here, so I’m soooo selflessly sharing it with you here.

The last thing I want right now is the sterling tab charm by Mama Jewelry. I’m pretty capricious with my use of home, closet, and jewelry items; sometimes just carrying them in my pocket or purse as a token, attaching them to a bag, or a neckline, or wearing them as intended. It mirrors my precious tab tile by Harry Kagan.

Bleach Jewellery makes a perfect crossover between my Christofle flower charm ring, my thrifted white bell bauble ring (mine is plastic and was $1 at the thrift but similar in silver here), and the spikes on my Tane necklace, which I recently acquired in Mexico. The custom fidget she posted a few weeks ago made my tongue roll out like a cartoon carpet.

I could wax poetic about my many lusts until my last breath in this mortal flesh, but for the sake of time, a hit list of more contemporary mentions:

Sisi Joia, a Paris-based brand working mostly in reclaimed glass and objects, dabbling in silver. I think their strength is earrings and necklaces wearable enough for everyday, but punchy enough for wedding or event attire. The Gota are on my list for such a purpose. Chan Luu offers similar, albeit pricier, silhouettes.

Abel Objects, a Brooklyn-based minimalist brand. Designer is a pal IRL, and getting to know her neurotic attention to detail is slowly eroding my disinterest in minimalism. Her peridot baby tilt ring in silver is a regular on my pinky finger, and her Arp earrings are my ideal reimagined hoop.

Third Reasons, a Los Angeles-based brand by a Ukranian designer. Her chains are standout.

Coldframe, a Seoul-based brand for classic silhouettes with an edge.

Nina Gordon, a Byron Bay-based Aussie brand. I’m all over these cusp earrings.

Mia Gosset is for fantasy reading bitches who wear Rick Owens. Joan of Arc aesthetic with turned-up sex appeal and unmatched technical precision. This would be my go-to for a once-in-a-lifetime wedding piece or home addition.

Inger Grube, a Copenhagen-based brand. Looking at her jewelry feels like eating fluffy bread and laughing, but also fidgeting with her sharp, enigma ring because you realized someone you want to kiss is about to kiss you. I had to include a photo of her cloud necklace here because I like it so much!!!

Old Jewelry is my aspiration for what my life and work will be “when I grow up”. Their site is a wellspring of treasures and historical curiosity. Shop online or visit them in Chinatown in NYC.

Georgia Kemball, a cheeky, romantic London-based brand. I’m partial to the orgy ring, inspired by an 18th century work in the British Museum.

Monastery Jewellery, a Netherlands-based brand by a South African jeweler. Monastery pieces are limited-run, little sculptural treasures with an organic, hammered feel, inspired by history. I’m partial to the Vespertine ring.

Ruiz, a Taxco, Mexico-based silver workshop.

Sophie Buhai, a Los Angeles-based brand known for super-luxe, reimagined modernist silhouettes. I love this ring.

Grosera, a CDMX-based brand, of which I own a piece: the Sol Earrings. Tumbao in LES carries them. Grosera is Spanish for “rude”, which I find delightfully bitchy.

Svenskt Tenn, a must-visit if you find yourself in Stockholm. They carry reproductions of pewter works from one of my favorite teachers-turned-artists and founder of Svenskt Tenn, Estrid Ericson. This pot…

J. Hannah, a Los Angeles-based brand focused on “timeless” silhouettes reimagined with contemporary details. Cheating a little bit, because my favorite jewelry piece from the brand comes in white gold, not silver, but I have a silver lamp by her! Here’s a short piece on her lamps, which I enjoyed.

HUNTING VINTAGE

If buying from an artist isn’t in the budget right now, or you can’t find what you’re looking for…vintage all the way. I don’t have room here for the Dupe Rant, so I’ll say this: instead of defaulting to these (largely) spiritually bankrupt dead ends (which at best, reproduce existing historical silhouettes, or at worst, steal from contemporary designers and mass produce their wares with unethical labor), make a habit of checking vintage first!!! Vintage clothing can be limited by size and fabric durability, but vintage jewelry is more easily found and often yields better materials, better value, surprising design, and may subconsciously imbue you with a better understanding of the references that influence your favorite (or not-yet-on-your-radar) contemporary designers.

Under $100

There are so many options under $100 for standout silver. I love an engraved pillbox as a purse token or engagement gift. The little money jail charms are a cuter way to always keep a $20 on you if you carry a tiny wallet, as I do. Endless earrings for events.

If you’re stuck on words, I like to start by perusing some iconic designers, artists, or eras to WET THE WHISTLE!!! Georg Jensen, William Spratling, Robert Lee Morris, Pierre Cardin, vintage Calder (inspired), Tane, Leonore Doskow, modernism, Italian silver, Mexican silver, etc. On eBay, turn on the ‘pre-owned’ filter on the left-hand side (on desktop) to weed out most drop-shipped pieces.

As far as pricier vintage pieces go, these are my favorite.

One of my favorite finds from my searches is vintage screw cuff pieces. These remind me of the vintage Love bracelets that jeweler Renato Cipullo (brother of Aldo Cipullo, creator of the Love collection for Cartier) stacks over his classic Love.

Need a base for charms and pendants? Search for chains for flexibility or collars for a more sculptural look.

Thinking specifically about event wear, I put “set” at the end of some searches. I love this twisty one.

Peruse all of my silver finds here.

As always, throw styling questions et al. in the chat!! Thanks for reading!! TIL NEXT TIME <3

There’s been much discussion of the shifting energy around NYFW the last few seasons, with many preemptively mourning a “death”. After a few seasons heavy on performing authenticity and racing for innovation, this season felt more settled. It was a cornucopia of smaller American talents, with larger houses standing in their history. Marc Jacobs distributed detailed credits in his show notes, citing both old versions of himself and every reference that inspired his latest collection. Despite Tory Burch’s recent “TORY-SSANCE” re-capturing the hearts of younger audiences and achieving top EMV, her FW26 collection heavily referenced Bunny Mellon (the affluent suburban white woman), reminding everyone she can do bi-coastal cool without leaving her prep past behind.

I repeatedly asked myself: have we reached PEAK EMBELLISHMENT??? Zankov wasn’t the only house with paillettes on payroll, and Bode is no longer the poster child for the “custom-for-all” feeling available off the rack. Tassels, brooches, fringe, and ornate military jackets continued to endure, with a slew of other doodads following closely behind. Complex knits, lace hats, belabored beading, tendrils of hair as an accessory, near-inimitable layering, detailed show notes laden with industry references… even Tory Burch is releasing its first made-to-order piece online.

BUT WHY!!! Rachel Scott (who just debuted as creative director for Proenza) did cite “SAVOIR FAIRE” (French for know-how) as her inspiration for Diotima’s latest collection. Brands and content creators have been quick to associate the “IYKYK” attitude with ownership of certain pieces, The Row Ophelia sweater (and its subsequent dupes) being one of them. Some could wince at the goalpost shifting to deem these previously coveted pieces symbols of dilettante desire. As the cutting, hilarious TikTok goes: “certainly not everything can be Gucci by Tom Ford”…

My lens is slightly more optimistic. The essence of tailoring and expertise is alignment with the subject and circumstance; it feels the industry is co-signing the quest (albeit a tired quest, if you’re on personal style social media) to develop “your look” rather than “the look”. Zankov's shoe partnership with The Real Real for his FW26 show echoes this resistance to the tyranny of manufactured authenticity. Did you resonate with a specific pair? They reconsigned the shoes from the show for purchase on The Real Real, which feels like the closest a runway brand sponsorship can get to serendipitously snagging a single, perfect-for-you pair of inimitable shoes at a random closet sale.

Still, bigger brands are also quickly jumping in on this notion, with J.Crew releasing its timely capsule with five independent NYC designers during February fashion week. The collection doubled down on J.Crew’s historic success with their iconic rollneck sweater, through a limited run of takes by Buci, Collina Strada, Tanner Fletcher, Eckhaus Latta, and Patrick Taylor.

Do I think we’re bereft of taste and creativity if we don’t solely operate from a deep, educated, inner sartorial compass? Of course not. That said, this push toward the bespoke, the ornate, feels like an excellent litmus test for the truths of our desires. If someone offered you the chance not to buy your entire wishlist, but to create an entirely custom wardrobe or home, what would you make first?

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QUICK HITS FROM RUNWAY/ DISSECTING INSPIRATION

If you’re not buying it as is, where does one start…when looking at any inspiration, I try to zoom out and label the patterns I’m drawn to. All of the looks I love are loud, but they also maintain monochromatic continuity, making them feel fluid rather than jagged and graphic. I’ve participated in the layered look trend by layering multiples of the same color, inspired by one of my favorite sweaters. I’ve also always loved a detachable accessory to get more out of a garment.

Pinterest is my favorite place to make a mess and save without abandon in order to identify patterns, then I edit a reasonable list of to-dos in Are.na (mine’s most private - sorry), because I can’t be trusted to revisit my Pinterest without scrolling on 1000 more ideas, then doing nothing.

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I was sick for 17 days in January. On my best days, I’m tempestuous, melancholic, and prone to dramatics, so to rot in one presentation for days on end really does me in. I do nonsense things like taking art off the walls and hiding decor under my bed, so the room reflects my barren listlessness. I usually watch the 1951 Alice in Wonderland when I start to feel better, as returning to my life and closet after a major disruption always feels wonderfully curious, but with the intimidation of having eight keys with no corresponding doors, and the weepy disorientation of one’s legs having broken through the windows of their house.

I’ve spoken before about the idea of the wardrobe as a toolbox. I think (and Rottenberg’s models of affective science would agree) mood functions similarly. Instead of a binary of achievement or something to be “figured out”, it can serve to shift between an aspiration, a life raft, a play place, and a salve for the burn of life’s whims. It’s an adaptive sieve for what’s presently important. While I can appreciate a steadfast temperament, my greatest inspirations are champions of the moody and ephemeral, and we’re going to discuss them today!!!!

David Lynch, a master at crafting moods so layered that our best societal attempt at description is self-defined (“Lynchian”), was a champion of Transcendental Meditation. Pierre Cardin said of his garments, “My favorite…is the one I invent for a life that does not yet exist, the world of tomorrow.” The great Catherine O’Hara (may she rest) was credited with saying, “There are actresses who want to stick to one certain way, and there are actors like me who want to do a bunch of different characters. Don't fence me in! Don't lock me down! I want to do different things! I don't know who I am!”

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Brian Eno refused every pitch for a documentary about himself until Gary Hustwit proposed a format that would exist generatively, with no two screenings told the same way. Eno, the end product, was my favorite film, or perhaps films, of 2024; I saw it 5 times. The one line from Eno I noted more than once (paraphrased): “Is creating a feeling too small an aspiration?”

I think not, and costume designer Heidi Bivens would agree. She’s known most for costuming in Euphoria, Harmony Korine’s Spring Breakers, and Mid-90s, and broke through with her work on David Lynch’s 2006 feature, Inland Empire. I stumbled upon Heidi’s work last year via Mubi’s “Ladies Who Lynch” podcast season, celebrating the women who shaped Lynch’s films. She emphasized that what she learned most from Lynch was the importance of being able to evoke a feeling. Appropriately, she just designed a beautifully eerie collection for Catbird.

Thank you to Catbird for the jewelry for this letter. In celebration of Heidi’s collection, the Catbird Giving Fund donated $5,000 to the David Lynch Foundation, which provides meditation access and education to at-risk groups.

I find this collection most appropriate, as gemstones are among the most enduring material symbols of affecting mood. The connection between mood and material can be traced back as early as 3000 BC: lapis for health in ancient Egypt, stones associated with chakra health in ancient India, and jade for healing in traditional Chinese medicine.

In 450 BCE, Hippocrates’ school of medicine continued to use gemstones for healing. In his earlier practice, he was said to have students swallow stones to treat epilepsy. He surmised that disease and moods were based on four “humors”: black bile, yellow bile, phlegm, and blood. Feelings of sadness were associated with black bile, and impulsivity or anger associated with yellow bile. Hippocrates prescription beyond the stones? Go on a walk. If that didn’t work, he recommended going on a longer walk.

Fast-forwarding a good bit…mood rings, introduced in 1975, were initially marketed not just as a fun accessory, but more seriously, as a “biofeedback tool”. Of course, we know the rings just reacted to heat, so you could warm your hands to ignite a color change, indicating a “change in mood”. Nevertheless, upon their launch, hundreds of consumers rushed to jewelry counters, eager to be perceived as happy and at peace.

Moonstone, Heidi’s choice of gem in her collection, is particularly captivating thanks to adularescence, the phenomenon that gives moonstone its glowing halo when light moves between microscopic layers of minerals.

The moon has also long held moody and material significance to humans. The word “lunatic” has roots in the old belief that the moon was responsible for mental illness. Luna, meaning moon, and the Latin word “Lunaticus” meaning “moon-struck”. As of 1970, moonstone is also the state gem of Florida, in commemoration of the moon landing!

Explore the Heidi Bivens X Catbird collection here.

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EVOKING MOOD!!!

These are a few more moody things this year that made me feel something: the tension between surprise and expectation, and between comfort, continuity, and chaos.

RED GLOVES

I bought a pair of elbow-length red leather gloves two winters ago. Gloves were once an accessory a woman would never be seen without. Different gloves indicated different elements of status; it would be most unthinkable not to have the appropriate pair for every occasion.

To this day, I feel the image of a bracelet over an opera glove is the ultimate symbol of glamour…think Marilyn Monroe in Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend. On glove etiquette, however, Elizabeth Taylor was said to have detested such a foul thing as a ring placed over a glove!! BRACELETS ONLY!!!

Alas, I was recently inspired by an Instagram story (as all great modern minds are…) to style a ring over my gloves. Witchy Moonstone over a red leather-gloved pinky feels delightfully naughty, more like something out of Spinal Tap. PERVERSE!!! SMELL IT!!!!

THE SWIMMING POOL CAKE

Speaking of Lynchian…before attending a friend-of-a-friend’s birthday last month, I was briefed that each year, the host makes a swimming pool-themed cake, revealing the year’s interpretation at her party. This year was a Jell-O shot cake by the luxury-party-treat-du-jour company Solid Wiggles. The miniature swimmers lounged in a landscape comprised of non-alcoholic yuzu grass, espresso martini pool tiles, and French 75/Blue Hawaiian pool water.

The cake, categorically splashy, bordering on Barbie Dream House, was unexpectedly staged in a most Twin Peaks Black Lodge Waiting Room fashion, floating in fog upon red velvet drapes, highlighted by a single spotlight. A most satisfying lesson in mood.

This remix …

David Lynch’s book on meditation

THE MOON!!! (again)

My mom dutifully texts me about the moon. I don’t know that she believes in its powers so much as the comfort of community in witnessing the phases together. I’d have missed the SNOW MOON on the first, if not for her updates.

TIL NEXT TIME!!!

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This letter will be photo-heavy, as the trite “it’s worth a thousand words” goes. There’s too much to say in one send. Taxco has long been on my jewelry trip list. It’s one of 177 designated Pueblo Mágicos, “magical towns”, in 31 states across Mexico. The program, hosted by the Mexican tourism board, promotes visitation to smaller, rural towns in Mexico with culturally and historically significant contributions and bustling art or food scenes. Next on my list is riding horses in Huasca de Ocampo, Hidalgo.

Our Stay

The Hotel de La Misión, where we stayed, began construction for a discotheque beneath it in the last 30 years, but upon digging, found a pre-Hispanic mine. This mine was unknown until recently, because the Taxco natives sought to hide it from Spanish exploitation in the 1400s. This was wise of the Taxco natives, as the Spaniards did end up laying claim to the mines of Taxco after winning a battle in the early 1500s. There were many years of silver and gold mining, then a lull, and then mining again in the early 1700s, when Don Jose de la Borda came to town. He made a fortune mining Taxco’s abundant gold and silver and used his riches to build infrastructure that endures in Taxco today, such as the Church of Santa Prisca. Imagine Bezos et al. employing the same sensibility.

The pre-Hispanic mine under the hotel is now a protected cultural heritage site, and no extraction is permitted! It’s one of the only (if not the only) pre-Hispanic mines in Guerrero.

We upgraded to the standard double room with two beds for $91 per night. The gray comforter left something to be desired, but every other inch of the hotel inspired an entirely new section in my Are.na for future home possibilities.

This twisted iron clothing rod with permanent matching hangers…

The wrinkled iron motif appeared everywhere around the property. The bed frames were concrete, built into the floor, and decorated in tile. Hand-carved doors. The checkered metal seats on the terrace I scorched my ass on, Tom and Jerry style. The beautifully unsettling Carrie (1976) X menstruation hot tub, thanks to the red tile. Long, shadowy hallways lined with a smattering of local art and plants.

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THE TOWN

If you’re an activity-oriented person, you may find Taxco a little sleepy, but I vehemently disagree with the 2010s-era blogs bound to crop up in Taxco research, which say 2-3 days is enough. I love long walks, touching things, sitting and studying little details in the nooks and crannies of small streets, so I could have spent 3 days just climbing up and down the town. Next visit, I’d like to spend one week at Hotel de la Misión, walking the property and town, visiting the mine, and enjoying the pool; the next at one of the guest houses at Casa Spratling, researching, reading, and writing.

Visit the House of Tears museum. Fidel Figueroa, a landscape artist, purchased the house to act as a gallery. While renovating it, he found hidden tunnels and vaults and learned tales of the many women who had died there. After Figueroa’s death, the house closed for another 20 years before reopening as a museum in 2013.

THE ENTREE…! THE SILVER

Silver prices continue to rise as surging demand for AI, solar, and electric vehicles strains supply. In recent years, silver has become more popular as both an aesthetic alternative to the “clean girl”, dainty gold movement, but also an economic response to gold’s increasingly untenable cost. Still, even when gold was $1,300 an ounce, I sought silver, steel, and pewter for their potential as sculpture and for larger-scale works.

Kelsey and I are both incredibly savvy FINDERS, both routinely DMing private Instagram accounts with 100 followers to get to the goods…but we were both surprised by the opacity of the silver scene there. The weekend silver market came highly recommended to us, but the vintage vendors we were hoping for were few and far between. I’m hoping to return with much more research under my belt, and more than a week’s worth of time to spend every day exploring on foot to penetrate the underbelly.

We visited two studios we had been looking forward to: Casa Spratling in Taxco and Los Castillo in Taxco Viejo.

Casa Spratling

While William Spratling’s original taller (workshop) still exists on a ranch in Old Taxco, there’s a newer corresponding property in the town of Taxco proper, Casa Spratling. Spratling was a New Yorker, an architecture professor at Tulane, who ventured to Taxco in 1926. He became the ‘father of contemporary Mexican silver’. You might recognize the impact of his style from a slew of uncredited Pinterest photos and burgeoning “vintage, heirloom revival” brands, ha.

Spratling started jewelry production in Taxco in 1931. His work was inspired by Mesoamerican studies, pre-Hispanic art, cubism, surrealism, and animals. He eventually expanded to sculpture and furniture, mixing silver with stone, rosewood, and other materials.

Vio prepared the most delicious spread: olive toast, homemade mole lasagna, cheesecake, homemade ice cream, and wine. We exchanged some juicy chisme (gossip) not to be recounted here…and snuggled her dogs, Aretha and Mango.

Stay tuned for my Spratling picks in the upcoming silver shopping letter. Follow along with Casa Spratling on Instagram.

Los Castillo

The Castillo brothers (Antonio, Jorge, Miguel, and Justo) trained in Spratling’s workshop, opened their own, and in turn, trained a few of my favorite silver artists in the Castillo workshop (Antonio Pineda, Hector Aguilar). We took a taxi to Taxco Viejo (old Taxco) to see Lily and see the archive in person.

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Setting the scene… 3-week trip. 5 days were spent with 6 friends in one Airbnb, and the rest I spent with just one friend in a different Airbnb. I lost about 1 week to the flu. I prefer to travel on foot (vs. taxiing around) to maximize STUMBLING POTENTIAL. I hate an itinerary. I’m a gringo, and this was my first visit. We didn’t dine at Contramar et al., and missed the window to secure tickets for most of the popular museums. Oops. This is everything we did (I think). I joke that we still spent a little too much time in Williamsburg. This is my (growing) list for next time. I hope for my new friend Camilo to co-author a guide with me on my next visit.

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the shortlist, sent to my group chats

Eating_ Dinner at Expendio de Maiz, the only place we dined twice. No reservation, no menu. All ~6 communal tables in the restaurant receive the same dishes at the same time. You join the flow upon your arrival. Eat until you’re full, then ask for dessert. Get the cocktail of the day, or pulque. I don’t believe in waiting in lines, but I would wait here. Muy sabrosa.

Lunch at El Pialadero de Guadalajara. I wish for everyone to experience the primal cradling of a broth-soaked sandwich through gloved hands. Also does wonders for a hangover.

Shopping_ Donde Clara for rotating handmade goods. Can Can Press for Risograph enthusiasts. OHA for ceramics. Campillo for suiting. Victoria Bazar for vintage and antiques, only if you do NOT buy my dream Leonora Carrington sketch mercilessly trapped in there since the day I responsibly, patiently, finally decided to buy it…the same day they closed without warning…(and are still closed!). I have rounds of visiting friends attempting retrieval.

Activity_ Franz Meyer Museum. Features traditional Mexican ceramics, furniture, and art, but the size is incredibly digestible compared to a behemoth like the anthropology museum. The TANE necklace I purchased is on display there! Tasty precursor to Kelsey and my abridged silver workshop tour of Taxco. Enjoy an orange juice in the courtyard. Walk to the Post Office afterward, and pay the 50 pesos to tour it. Vintage stamps! Reminds me of the Thomas Jefferson Building at home in D.C. Visit the Cómo Hace el Pequeño Cocodrilo statue by my latest artist obsession, Leonora Carrington.

La Lagunilla market for jewelry, traditional Mexican art, ceramics, and vintage (more on that below). Lots of shopping done here, but learning in equal measure, if you’re an avid Google Lens user and like to ask questions.

My most painful forfeitures (some thanks to the flu, some not)_ Max Cetto’s house, Masala Y Maiz, Fuente de Tlaloc, Fugaz, La Botica, the anthropology museum, many “temporarily closed” galleries and libraries, and more time in Taxco.

THE REST

EATING

I ate a lot of tacos, all tasty. I visited Tacos Hola El Güero multiple times out of proximity, and because I’m a creature of habit. If you’re doing the Tacos El Califa de León thing, walk past the Temple of Saint Cosmas and Damian. The tile work is gorgeous, and I saw my first peacock trotting around the parking lot.

I always crave pozole, a red, white, or green soup, made with hominy, meat, and broth. I was over the moon to live in a fleeting reality where “POZOLE NEAR ME” turned up a bountiful, local market instead of Dimes (damning). For New Year’s dinner, we stayed in and shared a haul from Medellin market of pozole, chicken tinga, rice, beans, and all the taco fixings, with fresh flowers for the table.

Lindy for the bone marrow octopus tacos and a big salad. You must ignore, against all sound instincts, that it’s a hotel restaurant with a seemingly Americanized presentation. Go on the earlier side, or sit with your back to the window, because the evening street lights on Av México are blinding. The napkins are also too small. Still, we found the food worth overlooking this series of blights.

Botanico was appropriately hyped. We enjoyed a group lunch outside, among the cacti, watching the koi and axolotls. Maximo (Kelsey’s birthday dinner) was also appropriately hyped, but embodied a different specific faction of tasty, but confusingly assembled Michelin menus. Everything killed, but the journey there was winding. I.e., getting help from the waiter to edit the daily menu of scallop ceviche, bolognese, a grapefruit burrata salad, BBQ fried chicken, octopus tostadas, a cast-iron sweet onion cooked in whey served with a cruffin, a Tomahawk steak, curry soup, lobster roll, and a market-price Jamón plate into a seamless order. Get the corn martini. There was much discussion of the extremely biteable wine glasses and hearty glass floral water vessels.

El Minutito for coffee. SAN for matcha (a friendly spot to post up and work, as are La Laguna and Disco Cafe). Get a fruit tart or concha at Saint. Get a passionfruit pop tart at Farmacia Internacional if you’re nearby, but don’t go out of your way. Niddo was my favorite when craving a yogurt bowl.

Walk to Café El Jarocho after Frida Kahlo’s house. Enjoy a café de olla in Parque Allende while ruminating on the fact that Frida Kahlo, Isamu Noguchi, Florence Knoll, and Alexander Calder were all somehow contemporaries, and that Noguchi and Kahlo shared a FLEETING ROMANCE!!!

Three new-to-me foods. Pulque, a traditional Mexican beverage, akin to a milky kombucha made from agave sap. I’ve heard natural is more of an acquired taste (and texture) than the refined version. Huitlacoche, which is like if a corn cob grew mushrooms on it. I hate bleu cheese, etc., and love it. I would recommend against Googling a photo of it. Chapulines, crunchy little grasshoppers!!! I didn’t try them because I'm prone to niche allergies, but Kelsey loves them.

Of my influenza ramen tour, I liked Deigo the best. Hyper-specific pull: Carmela’s honeycomb yogurt ice cream flavor is a bloodthirsty $4 competitor to my $12 Culture habit in Park Slope. If you’re craving ice cream, their standard flavors were also the least expensive and best ice cream we had.

SHOPPING

XOLO and Casa Gallo for Mexican vintage clothing and ephemera. Many stores sell American-style vintage. I bought a few things at Delab. I liked Chic by Accident (ridiculous name) more than Originario. Vintage HOE is hit or miss, but the hits are good. Don’t skip the homewares in the back room.

HI-BYE, Vena, Mvndo Varon, Marsella68, and Aurelia Concept Store for a smattering of contemporary Mexican designers. Hoseu, carried at a few of these, also takes studio appointments. There are infinite shops to browse; I most enjoyed Piezas Unicas and Caan Crudo. I finally bought the Moro Joyas butterfly ring I’ve been ogling at Tumbao for the last 15 months. For more jewelry, make appointments at Grosera and Gala Is Love. Gala Is Love and Perla Valtierra are currently located in the stunning Fundacion Marso, but the building just sold (!!), so visit before they relocate in May.

Chava Studio, to expand your mind on how a button-down can feel. I bought mine from Olivia in 2024, and it’s the only button-down I feel the need to own. If you see Pau, tell her I say hi!

La Lagunilla market on Sundays. Vendors start to pack up around 3 pm. Bring cash. I wish I spent more time beforehand practicing my Spanish numbers. Camilo is our razor-sharp silver-collecting friend with the red tablecloth in front of the Super Chedraui market. He and his booth mates, Ricardo and Anel, are a hoot. Camilo also recommended the market at Jardin Dr. Ignacio Chávez, where he sells on some Saturdays, but we didn’t make it this trip.

Look out for (and read up on) “Ex Votos”, little hand-painted prayer signs. I didn’t get one because I’m superstitious about bringing a maligned prayer into my house, but I hope to find one that resonates next time.

THINGS NOT HUNGRY, AND MORE FINANCIALLY AUSTERE

Watch the ducks at Parque Mexico. Watch the big + little dogs rumble at Parque España. Watch the dogs everywhere. Notice the tiny food truck in the park that sells dog treats. See a wrestling match at Arena México. Enjoy all the little monkey hats at Chapultepec Park. Walk until you don’t want to walk, watch the swan boats, and lie in the grass with a book. I walked a lot. Fuente de Cibeles, Plaza Rio de Janeiro. Wherever I am in the world, I love walking and sitting.

Patrick Miller is fun if you love 80s new wave and are nostalgic for Manchester’s La Hacienda that you weren’t alive to experience (minus ecstasy, plus ages 21 to 70), which I am. People actually dance. Novel concept. Orbita for drinks if you’re into speaker systems and vinyl DJs. 99 Records to browse, or visit their evening listening room. I love a Saucy Little Bar, of which CDMX has many, but I could have fun with my friends in an empty parking lot, so Hugo, Shh…, Salon Palomilla, are all tied in my mind.

Before you go…

Watch Frida, Y Tu Mamá También, or Amores Perros. If you’re chronically online and love to hate to love everything about I Love LA…watch Rotting in the Sun.

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Practical notes. Much like the ocean, the streets of CDMX have these sporadic cold spots that bring a jolt of energy, then a cardigan out of Purse Jail (bring a jacket everywhere regardless of forecast). Unlike water, the air is drier than the Nevada desert. I used an entire bottle of my Dieux moisturizer. I have life-threatening nut allergies, so to whomever this may be helpful, nowhere we dined used anacardo, cajú, or marañón as the word for “cashew”. They all called it nuez de la India. We had a very funny, illuminating multi-server huddle around a photo of a cashew to figure this out. I finally had the brilliant idea to ask my jeweler friend to laser-etch a scrap-metal card with my allergies in English, French, Spanish, and Chinese.

Learn basic phrases and use them, even if terribly executed. I’d like to think this goes without saying, but I felt ashamed every time a local would tell me how many visitors don’t even try when I apologized for bumbling through my limited Spanish. It’s polite, and language learning promotes neuroplasticity.

Re: safety. There are US travel warnings for multiple locations in Mexico, and to that I say, you know where people are also being kidnapped and killed, by federal officials, no less? The US. I took the same reasonable safety measures I’ve followed in New York, Paris, Kosovo, Berlin, Amsterdam, Colombia… lock your accommodations, don’t carry large sums of cash around, don’t wear an open purse to a club, don’t get into unmarked cars, etc. As a woman, I always have safety on my mind when traveling, but the number of questions I received about Mexico’s safety in particular gave me pause…

In fact, the American white men at my undergraduate university have yet to be unseated as the greatest threat to my (and my friends’) health and safety in my lifespan. Sexual assault, GHB, misogyny, racism, drunk driving, physical violence, undisclosed STDs…maybe someday I’ll pen the tale of the man who “accidentally” punched me in the face in the midst of a fight with someone else, then offered to pay me to not tell anyone because he was a “Christian”. I rejected the money and told everyone, but I probably should have taken it and still told everyone.

NEXT TIME: LAGUNILLAS, OUR FUTURE MEXICO WISH LIST, AND THE TAXCO, MEXICO STINT!!!

LEAVE A COMMENT OR TALK RECS / TRIPS IN THE CHAT…JEALOUS OF EVERYONE IMMINENTLY VISITING </3

Today we’re exploring the distinction between having ideas and diffusing ideas through a style lens, drawing on Kevin Simler’s essay, “Going Critical,” and one of my favorite reads of 2025, Nadia Asparouhova’s book, “Antimemetics: Why Some Ideas Resist Spreading”.

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One framework that helped me (and helped me help others) get dressed last year was viewing the wardrobe as a network. We can think of the nodes as singular garments, and the edges (links between nodes) as pairings, or outfits. A node's ability to link hinges on variables such as immunity (pieces resistant to frequent styling, seasons in which dressing is difficult for one reason or another) and transmission rate (the speed at which data moves or the number of new pairings attempted).

The failure of the Solution-Du-Jour carousel (think sweeping movements like decluttering, capsule wardrobes, aesthetic minimalism, and now discernment) is that it assumes a linear progression or a single unlock, ignoring the perpetually shifting interplay among multiple variables.

Even if you can’t read both works in full, take a moment to play with one of the interactive graphics in Simler’s essay to see the rate and pattern of connection and transmission as variables change. As I’ve abandoned all efforts to lasso my wardrobe into static submission, I’ve witnessed corners of my personal knowledge base darken with connections. Per the outfit grid above, most of the fledgling connections may not be visually legible to anyone else, but my process has started to feel easy and fun.

Vacation packing is a perfect setting for meditating on a single variable and seeing what connections form. I tend to throw everything in a suitcase, say a prayer, and play upon arrival. This letter is a postmortem study of two weeks in Mexico City, starting the outfit with jewelry, a celebration of Tory Burch’s refreshed jewelry collection. Thank you to Tory Burch for sponsoring this letter :)

A DAZZLING PURPLE CARROT

This purple sparkly carrot is a “matches-nothing-but-goes-with-everything” piece. “Dressing up” a slip dress is a perennial frustration (too naked, too pajama), but starting with the necklace inspired me through color and texture rather than silhouette. I dug in my suitcase for anything purple, green, and nubby. I never would have paired the green bag with the pale dress for fear of coming off overly “easter”, but the studded finish inspired me to draw from the silver chain and add a silver cuff, too. Edit: I’m now wearing the purple carrot in bed! It made my loungewear set a little brighter for a meeting.

Despite loving the look of a collar, I’ve noticed they’re “high-immunity” pieces in my wardrobe, as I have low patience for negotiating necklines. This cord is adjustable, meaning I can switch between a belt, collar, or charm look while relying on the standard long look for everyday.

I followed the same principles a few days later with another dress. Instead of trying to “tone down” the tunic's brightness with a black jacket, plain bag, or neutral jewelry, I went for the glimmering carrot, a tasseled bag, and patterned heels. Doubling down on details, conversely, made the ensemble feel less loud.

TINY TEXTURES

This look illuminated a microscopic habit I’d previously overlooked: playing with tiny textures. Pulling out this station necklace, decorated with mixed shapes, challenged me to “throw on” an outfit for coffee that I’d feel good enough in to maintain eye contact with a hot stranger at the counter.

Instead of defaulting to jeans and a crewneck, I reached for pieces that mimicked the necklace's tiny textures: a loose knit sweater, a crosshatched baby heel, and a gauze-y skirt with plenty of ankle.

THE SQUINT TEST

I bought these pants on final sale without realizing they were blue…not black. This navy horse cannot be visually tamed with an otherwise all-black solution!! This is actually a common principle in UX and interior design, colloquially known as the “squint test”.

When working on an outfit, interior, or even a PowerPoint, try squinting to see what first catches your eye. That’s the visual information you, or your audience, will internalize first. In all black, my eyes first went to the pants. Although the earrings are the smallest part of the outfit, starting with a palette of brown, green, and yellow inspired me to choose a fringe bag over a leather tote, and a bright shoe instead of a neutral one.

These earrings and the station necklace both inspired this little ripple of repeated motifs, which I realized strikes my perfect balance of eclectic and fluid.

In hindsight, these same principles imbued another of my favorite outfits from the trip: this graphic-made-bohemian black-and-white ensemble, which started with my long-time favorite Tory Burch FRUIT EARRINGS!!! The outfit is very “A [GOOD, SUBTLE] CASE OF STRIPES”. I liked that the earrings blend into the palette of whites when engaging THE SQUINT TEST, but in person, delicately stand out as the only element that leans more sculptural than linear.

It was colder than I expected, so this contrast-stitched Tory cardigan made an appearance in almost every outfit.

HOLIDAY LEFTOVERS

I spent one day working from the apartment before meeting a friend for dinner, and I wanted to make these categorically **STANDOUT** earrings work casually. I opted for a layered top, studded canvas pants, undone hair, and sporty Tory glasses to make the layered, fluid earrings feel like part of a breezy, busy dance, instead of a sleek red-carpet moment.

They’re light enough to wear all day, even while working, without feeling overly aware of their presence. They have the comforting sensorial tickle-hug of an in-ear headphone.

AU NATURAL

I typically reserve this weighty, gold-and-studded pierced ring for a frivolous martini occasion or after-hours soiree. Building on the lessons learned from the fringe-earring-made-sporty day, I thought a bombastically glamorous ring (and a blurred purple lipstick) could be just the thing to take a white button-down and jeans combo from cater waiter to (approaching) the aspirational “off duty” trope. I threw on some bitchy square-toed heeled boots for good measure, and felt really good about it.

SARTORIAL ACTUALIZATION

As the trip went on, the tiny patterns inspired by the first days of jewelry play made the rest of my dressing a breeze. I paired this beaded, layered necklace with other messy, layered pieces to feel dressed up without feeling stuffy. Over a sleek dress, I felt this necklace would demand sleek hair, making it even more of a statement contrasted with such clean lines.

I got my “colors done” a few years ago, and they told me black is one of my worst colors. While I don’t much factor in the flattery aspect, stylistically, all black does feel a bit witchy for my spirit, so I like to temper it with brown and navy. More neutral mixing…

As always, I bow at the altar of Josef Frank’s ‘ACCIDENTISM’ — “IF YOU LIKE IT IT GOES TOGETHER!” Sometimes the dormant heartbeats of these beloved, but disparate nodes just need a little fusing…

Shop my current Tory jewelry faves (and aspiring future jewelry challenges) here, and see the full outfits in motion here.

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Expect a DELUGE of jewelry content in the next weeks, thanks to Taxco inspiration and a strong experimental urge, never before felt, to attempt wearing the same outfit for most of the month, only changing jewelry…

TIL’ NEXT TIME! XO

Today’s letter is public to all readers thanks to Sezane.

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The first order of business is enjoying my first cup of coffee at home with a boiled egg and toast, and engaging in a leisurely dressing ritual. I’ll make a big mess and not clean it up before I leave, like Eloise at the Plaza. Later, I’ll get to play the part of The Maid. This year, I have a backlog of holiday looks I never got to wear thanks to the flu, so I’ll probably sport this Sezane sun medallion over a long black dress, paired with knee-high boots, and a cropped coat.

My journey Uptown is long but with few transfers, leaving ample time to enjoy a book on the ride up. Right now, I’m reading The Age of Extraction, but this is decidedly not the vibe for a day of hedonism and holiday magic, so I’ll pack my journal and Stephen King’s On Writing. (Edit/first detour: over the weekend, I started A Little Life, so that’s actually what I’ll be reading. Dark, but at least it’s fiction?) In my Gabin bag, I’m also packing an Hermes cashmere scarf (adult baby blanket), a disposable camera, a few pens, and my wallet.

My corny first stop is Ralph’s on Madison. I like to see older ladies in fur and younger ladies in pseudo-online outfits all sharing in the magic of a $9 Gingerbread latte. The man who takes my order is honest and tells me the gingerbread syrup was disgusting last year, but is better this year, so I order one. I’ll enter Central Park on Terrace Drive and take a meandering loop through horses, rocks, runners, and trees, just three blocks south to Birley Bakery.

Of course, Birley also has coffee, but on days like this, I go out of my way to make as many stops and 30-minute plops as possible. This is a practical tip for staying warm, but also imbues, in a metaphorical sense, the delightful frivolity of carrying fifteen separate shopping bags when everything could easily fit in one. Pick up a box of chocolates here if you need a last-minute housewarming gift.

My friend took me here a few weeks ago, and ever since, I’ve been craving the act of enjoying one croissant on a plate like the SOPHISTICATE I am and eavesdropping on ladies lunching. I’ll read my book a little and toil over unreasonable resolutions for 2026. I will blame any 2025 failures on the “quiet progression” of the snake year. My therapist is nobly working on tempering my expectation that I’ll be able to completely turn my life around during my imminent Mexico City vacation.

From here, I’ll walk from 69th to Bergdorf’s on 5th and 57th. This is the point in the day where I kick myself for not making the entire itinerary Pig-friendly, because there’s something so wonderfully bitchy about toting your yappy terrier around whilst gesturing at diamonds in glass cases. I’ll spray myself with a perfume that costs half my rent, and probably try on one or two sparkly dresses and some rings. I hope they have a few of these $25 tassels in stock for our doors and a future tree.

I have fond childhood memories of visiting my aunt during the holidays, pushing our many family terriers in a dog stroller around the city, and arguing about holiday dresses at (now defunct!) Lord & Taylor. Hopefully, I’ll find an ornament to mark the occasion and manifest an apartment big enough for a tree next year. From here, I’ll venture to Belgian Shoes on 55th.

Belgians are a New York staple for UES dwellers and downtown creative directors alike (and Bernie Madoff, who has 300 pairs?). These storied leather house slippers, created by Henri Bendel’s nephew in 1955, can only be purchased at the 55th Street store or by mail order. I’ll taunt my mom and aunt with photos of Belgians that match each of our styles. They will text me back to buy each of us a pair, to which I will say, “They’re $600 each”, to which they will say, “Then go to the shelter and bring another dog to Florida.” (Edit: The text happened before the solo day. Manifesting? I’ll let you know if I actually manage to pick up Ginger from Yorkie911 this week…)

After turning them onto Belgians just to rip them away, I’ll make amends with some photos of the Rockefeller tree, in case I can’t acquire two satisfactory secondhand pairs of Belgians. I’ll probably stop by Goods for the Study to buy a pen I don’t need and grab some ink for the vintage stamps I gifted.

I’ve certainly built up an appetite at this point and will sit at the counter at Joe’s House of Soup Dumplings on 48th and journal about my year. The quality has fallen off a bit, but it’s another stop that reminds me of holiday long weekends of my youth, grabbing a bite after seeing the Rockettes. I’ll get a green tea and an order of pork soup dumplings. A gift card to any local dim sum spot also makes a lovely gift. My friends and I are going to Golden Unicorn for our holiday goodbye dinner.

This is about the time of day when I’m feeling emboldened to have a cocktail at 3 pm and see someone I know again. I’ll usually plant seeds the week before for a flexible rendezvous downtown, as no one needs a staunch social plan the last week before traveling.

Until a friend arrives, I’ll pinball between Sezane and John Derian. and I have already met up at Sezane this season to pick up sweaters for friends (the Amiel is now a two-season hit for me), and glimmering gold baubles for cousins who are on TikTok and itching to feel Very Grown Up.

Items actually on my list this day are the Sari petite coat for my first friend having a baby (!), and the embroidered napkins and a set of chopsticks for my friend who has never used her oven and has a premium delivery membership. I texted my third friend the link to this Ravon sweatshirt as an upgrade for her sport-sweatshirt-loving husband.

The last stop is John Derian, where I’m finally going to get a sticker book for my mom and me to get back into scrapbooking. We perused my childhood photo books when I was home for Thanksgiving and figured we should make at least one in which my brother and I are older than 7. I bought myself a watercolor set here, which has made for many beautiful hand-painted cards! I also like to sit in poor posture on the velvet chairs and pretend I’m John Waters giving good one-liners to Interview mag and smoking a cigar. Putting that on my 2026 resolutions. I just need an eyeliner mustache.

The (planned) journey culminates at Raf’s. I’ll probably order the chicken. It takes a lot for me to order chicken anywhere, and it speaks volumes that I keep ordering it. My favorites (so far) are Raf’s, Da Toscano, and Inga’s. Raf’s chicken is crispy as hell, loaded with parsley (my favorite herb, which I’ve heard is contentious) and lemon, and served on a piece of bread soaked in all the drippings. The red wine glass is so bulbous, you could raise a goldfish in it, and so thin you’ll worry it may slice the corners of your lips. I could eat the glass for dessert. In place of taking on that multi-thousand-dollar hospital bill, I order the white chocolate budino. If you hate white chocolate, as I do, this perfect dessert - airy, creamy, salty, a little crunchy - will make you forget.

What I love most about this yearly day is that it inspires me to do it in all seasons, and without the gift-giving and friend dinner, I usually come out under $50 for the whole spree. On warm days, I’ll bring my watercolors to the park and sit with Pig. I’m also hoping for a Freewrite Alpha under the tree so I can write anywhere without the bulk of a laptop, and faster than my hands can process my thoughts.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! TIL’ NEXT TIME!! XO

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Rams created under the philosophy that “design serves human experience by eliminating excess”. This, and Coco Chanel’s “remove one item before you leave the house,” are frequently parroted in defense of austere minimalism, but the real heart of it is discernment.

Miuccia Prada is my perennial inspiration for this kind of self-fluency; a sense of ease without sliding into sameness. Her classic calf-length skirt and boxy upper top or jacket could be mistaken for a plug-and-play uniform. Still, she doesn’t just “like it and buy it in every color”. What’s the secret?

I don’t know - ha. While a study of Mrs. Prada’s personal aesthetic would be fun, we are likely only privy to a selection of the motor principles that drive these decisions in interviews she accepts — or never at all. What decisions did she toil over, what purchases came easiest to her, why this, why that…this is why I like to examine personal style through an anatomical lens, not just what things are, but how they relate to one another within the structure of the self.

The spark for this letter didn’t start with the Rams rewatch. It began in February, when I spent nine straight hours in a fluorescently lit NYU classroom shadowing my friend’s job, which meant examining my values (not morals—common misconception) with Professor Suzy Welch. The class is wacky, but I love taking quizzes and spending professional development budgets, and Schwartz’s theory of basic human values is compelling.

Schwartz posited that humans possess a core set of 10 identifiable values that are expressed in almost every society worldwide (Schwartz et al., 2001). Unlike morals, these are not frameworks of right and wrong taught by society. These values can be ranked, and can even be harmonious or discordant within the same action, as they cross dimensions of acting for self or society and being motivated by openness to change vs. self-preservation.

It’s less apparent to illustrate value principles through outfits, so for this letter, we will use Rams’ 10 Principles For Good Design* as a prompt to excavate what is PERSONALLY ESSENTIAL, materially or otherwise. December feels like the perfect time for this string of ideas to buoy us from a holiday season potentially bloated with material input into a creative, reflective January. If you’re feeling stuck in dressing right now, may these ten lenses reorient you around working on the “right” problem.

Thank you to Sezane for making this letter open to all readers. <3

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10 PRINCIPLES FOR GOOD TO EXAMINE DESIGN SELF-FLUENCY

1. GOOD DESIGN IS INNOVATIVE / Monday night Bugonia at Angelika

Consider how Steve Jobs, the innovator who changed the world via Apple technology, wore a black Issey Miyake turtleneck and Levi’s 501s daily. He even forged a friendship with Miyake because of it! He clearly values innovation and stimulation, but perhaps saw innovation via dressing as an interference with his achievement value.

This is a value I aspire to, but it doesn’t come naturally to me. I hate making my own Halloween costumes, and I love following a recipe instead of improvising. Occasionally, I surprise and delight, and this day I thought, could I take a greige cotton long-sleeve I bought for hiking in Iceland and morph it into something cozy, freaky, and slightly sexy for 2 hours of bald Emma Stone locked in a basement?

I initially put the bralette over the dress to see if I even liked the whole layered-Paloma-Wool-thing on myself. It occurred to me afterward that maybe this was the Jackson Wiederhoeft lingerie dress I had seen months earlier, emerging from my deepest recesses. OFF-DUTY BURLESQUE!!! This was a really fun one, and inspired me to start layering this belt over my winter coats for days where the outer layer seems to overshadow the rest of the operation.

2. GOOD DESIGN IS USEFUL / Co-working computer day

I refuse to mentally rely on what I call “sensitive outfits”; the kind of thing that you’re saving for when you won’t need to sit down, guaranteed to be able to stand a certain way, immune to wind, and suddenly able to maintain homeostasis between freezing and sweating.

I’ve learned to size up in all things leather bottom (and love a generous posterior vent in my skirts and long jackets) to prepare for inevitable bending. Here, I’m looking in my giant bag (another Heather mainstay), where I keep my hairbrush, which I have to pull out every 10 minutes when the wind makes my freshly washed hair look stringy and greasy. I gifted my best friend this sweater for Christmas last year, and she’s worn it on so many occasions, I wanted one of my own.

Thank you to Sezane for contributing a very Miuccia boxy sweater and calf-length skirt for the occasion :+)

3. GOOD DESIGN IS AESTHETIC

“The aesthetic quality of a product is integral to its usefulness”. Twist my arm…

I wanted to employ some pattern play without feeling too bold, so I mixed prints within the same color family and added a chunkier knit for a textural element. A chunky sweater vest is my mercurial weather go-to for keeping the core warm, without having to shove a thick sleeve into a medium-weight jacket.

4. GOOD DESIGN MAKES AN OUTFIT UNDERSTANDABLE

I don’t know that this principle is personally important to me, or that I’m very good at it. Even my closest friends continue to scratch their heads at my decision to wear a garter belt to a Monday evening movie. I think Mrs. Prada is a perfect reference here.

As mentioned, she often dons the same combinations, with tweaks to make them appropriate for the setting, without losing that core MIUCCIA DNA. Rarely without a pointed heel, a saucy sandal, mixed browns and blues, satins, and some wit!

5. GOOD DESIGN IS UNOBTRUSIVE

“Products fulfilling a purpose are like tools…[and should] leave room for the user’s self-expression”. I’ve never been one to shy away from attracting some level of attention in style, so this principle makes me think of matters of fit. Good design, or the construction of a satisfactory outfit, allows your eye to explore and wander to the intended details, rather than fidgeting with a neglected hem or an ill-fitting jacket. When all else fails, I always feel comfortable in a long skirt and

6. GOOD DESIGN IS HONEST / Hiking around Storm King Art Center

I loved the description of this principle as “to not design promises that cannot be kept.” For me, this principle has more to do with rejecting items or processes that make me start fights with myself. I have little desire to trap myself in a cycle of expensive, time-consuming beauty treatments or obsess over making a certain tricky silhouette work. I test most outfits after a meal, with casual hair and makeup, to ensure they’ll fit with how I present 90% of the time, instead of an imagined, or rarely-assembled ideal.

Recreational outfits are my favorite to put together, as there are so many variables that need to come together for a satisfying result. It’s quite the challenge to be so particular about every silhouette and function, without overdoing it to be comfortably mobile. Hiking bag? Comfy pants? Warmth? Color-play? Layering? Can we fit a skirt in somehow?

Conversely, when are we overdoing it with activity-specific gear? Why can’t I go to a yoga class in a breathable cotton shirt I already own, or hike in a naturally odor-resistant wool sweater and patterned pants I also wear to dinner? Cross-pollinating is fun and promotes rewearing, but also keeps me honest about whether pieces fit into the bulk of the ways I spend my time.

7. GOOD DESIGN IS LONG LASTING / Glacier kayaking in Iceland

“Long-lasting” can be interpreted as the lifespan of the materials, but also in the steadfastness with which we commit to a style or object. Shopping secondhand is a great litmus test to see if you’d like it even if it were not current season, and can reduce trepidation around breaking in a fancy thing. It’s like looking at a dad to see how the son will age…when’s he gonna go gray…etc. Get into this hot magenta Sezane goat-leather jacket…ENDURING!

Stylistically, I hate hats. I find scarves beautiful, comfortable, easy to travel with, and, for lack of a better phrase, timeless.

This scarf has served as a skirt, a top, a work presentation accouterment, an emotional security blanket, and a practical protector, as seen here, keeping my hair dry and in place on our windy, misty adventure this summer in Iceland. I showed up to our subsequent dinner sans hat hair, donning a fabulous wrap by the fire, and I didn’t have to figure out how to dress with a hat on.

Silk can weaken when wet, but not necessarily due to being wet, so as long as you avoid wringing or tightly tying it when damp, or using it as a tent whilst hiking the PCT, you’ll be good to go. Additionally, very few items require zero maintenance. Google what your items are made of and how to best care for them.

8. GOOD DESIGN IS THOROUGH DOWN TO THE LAST DETAIL

“Care and accuracy show respect to the user.” Would the $200 set aside for a new fall top be better spent on taking a few items to the tailor (or on treating a neighbor who sews to dinner in exchange for some nip/tuck)? I finally hemmed these pants last winter so I can wear them with flats, and now they get to go out so often! This is in my dog walking outfit, pretending to hold the leash because Pig wouldn’t get up.

Also, at 5’8”, I am so short-presenting it’s almost a feat, so shoutout to my typical long skirt and heeled shoe combo for always making me look my actual height.

9. GOOD DESIGN IS ENVIRONMENTALLY-FRIENDLY | Planning for holiday

This holiday, before going out and buying a sparkly dress you’ll wear two days a year, I ask myself what makes an outfit festive? GLAMOUR! SPARKLE! LOTS OF LEG? A READINESS FOR ANYTHING!! And, in New York, traveling on foot, so staying warm and comfortable…

I’m going to pull this combo out this weekend for an evening, going from cocktail hour to a friend’s studio opening to dinner with a different friend, then to a dancing affair. Could easily layer a frilly top under the sweater for a fancier dance party. My 28-year-old ass is now hanging out of my god-awful quality but personally beloved Mango micro mini shorts, so I upgraded to this Sezane wool blend pair with slightly more coverage.

This Bottega bag is not “sustainable” by any standard metric, but it’s proven to be a mainstay in my closet for both casual and festive occasions. I’ve worn it with weekday jeans and tees, on New Year’s, with a Death Becomes Her Halloween outfit, and am forecasting it for this holiday and some 2026 weddings. It fits a paperback book, makeup for touch-ups, my EpiPen, and more, and it packs flat.

Sustainability isn’t just about the end product; it also encompasses the supply chain, company values, composition, production, the garment’s lifespan, etc. Before making a purchase, consider the function across PERSONAL PRINCIPLE vs. THEORETICAL AESTHETIC. I’ve always had the collecting bug, so reducing general consumption (even secondhand) is the 2026 goal…which takes us into…

10. GOOD DESIGN IS AS LITTLE DESIGN AS POSSIBLE!!!!

Lastly, we have my perfect balance of playing and repeating. Repeating the sweater as a scarf, the same shorts for a casual day, and the same tall-boot/short-hemline silhouette, finished with a vintage bag big enough for a book. Create more of the thing that makes you feel the most “you”, with as few elements of possible. Et voila!!

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PIG’S PERSONAL NO.11: GOOD DESIGN IS WHAT YOU CAN SOMERSAULT IN

TIL’ NEXT TIME <3

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*These principles can be shared accurately and fairly under the Creative Commons CC-BY-NC-ND 4.0 license.

Today’s send is a textured, tactile load of things I find more fun than the popular, pastiched reproductions of the present.

These are personal things I’m hunting for, and as gifts, ways to say, “I pay attention to your media and material fixations”, “I want to make your life easier”, “I love you!!”, it goes on…

Here are the finds. Behind the paywall you’ll find a list of vintage delights and year-round gifts, ideas on how to gift less literally, search terms I used, the angora treasure trove I recently stumbled into, and what’s on my holiday list. For all of these listings, I filtered for “USED” and “BUY IT NOW”. I messed with toggling “US ONLY” on and off, as some sellers cover import fees.

Antique key fobs. Did they buy property this year, move into a new apartment, or get their own studio space? Are you the annoying friend who likes to leave laborious clues in an attempt to extend the moment? Are you surprising someone with a trip? Is your friend obsessed with their lucky number or a specific location? Are you trying to subtly nudge someone away from a new Chateau Marmont t-shirt and expose them to the greater, historied merch ecosystem?

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A vintage magazine ($15). Search by their topic of interest, a year they’re fascinated with, or the year they were born. This one is in French, which would make a specifically good gift for a fashion friend committed to Duolingo.

PAIL O’ LUXE CANDIES ($30)!!! I love something I can giggle at and get excited about, then consume, recycle, or repurpose, and be done with it. My roommate and I love an emergency bulk candy bag for movie night or mid-day work-anxiety rage snacking.

Vintage bumper stickers ($7+). This is one of those things I buy in an assorted lot on eBay in July when I need to feel something, and am then delighted to have on hand to fortify a card or use as a bookmark.

Gloves ($32). I hate paying for gloves, and I’ll gladly wear something on the glamorous-insanity axis on winter dog walks.

My favorite highlighter ($16). The RMS luminizer is one of three makeup products I truly feel I need, so much so that I have the quad in my purse and a solo pot at home. My routine, patting the invisible shade on at a stoplight to camouflage a hangover, then washing my lids with the brown shade in a public bathroom before a date, is the kind of mature frivolity I dreamed of as a child.

Vintage earrings. Seeing these on Revolve for $100 is giving me angina. Gift a pair for $10-$20 from eBay, and you’ll still have enough left over to treat the West Village dweller in your life to a glass of wine at Demo.

Mini Etch A Sketch ($7, then 30% off. Ha). A fidget toy without a digital screen.

A Whole Ass Sweater ($28) Year after year, I’m still standing on my digital street corner on an upside-down milk crate, yelling into a megaphone about the potential of the secondhand market.

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Personalized stamp ($7+). I found mine at an antique mall. It reads “I’D SAY WISH YOU WERE HERE BUT I DON’T KNOW WHERE I AM”. I recommended this in my last guide for the SNAIL MAIL HEADS, so, as not to be lazy, I’ll digress that a vintage embosser (know any Kevins?), library stamp, or label maker would make an excellent gift for the voracious reader/organizer in your life.

Black sesame butter ($20), or another fun snack or snack-enhancer. I impulsively bought this at Big Night a few months ago and am addicted to eating it with vanilla ice cream in this cup, or my snack bowls from Lazy Jamie or Service Projects. Gift it with a note of pairing ideas to spruce up WFH snack-breaks.

A bottle of Ghia or a pack of Phony Negronis ($38). These are my favorites, but I’ve also gifted a hand-picked pack of new-to-market N/A drinks to my friends celebrating sobriety anniversaries.

Snoopy embroidery book ($16). Inspire a crafty friend to start a Bode-esque custom tote for themselves.

I’ll be adding little hits to the list all season, like a knit $40 backless Mozdeh Matin (SMALL DESIGNER ALERT) mini dress for your friend who loves to party. I’m insane and have many of my friends’ measurements in my phone so I can send them accurate TRR finds throughout the year.

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TIL’ NEXT TIME! XO